The Katie Did

To Make It All Official

2012-01-26T11:31:00.001-08:00

Though I mentioned the pending arrival of Baby #2 in my sidebar, I have yet to really write anything about this little baby growing inside me. This baby has hardly received the same amount of mental attention that Tommy did while pregnant, but I think that has to do with the fact that I spend my days guarding the toilet paper and making sure Tommy doesn’t jump off high surfaces. That being said, I am completely excited about this little boy being a part of our family.

I feel like this pregnancy has been easier than the first, but that is probably because I am not working full-time and I get to nap with Tommy. I am 35 weeks, due February 27th, and am trying really hard to not get excited. For those of you who read my blog up to the delivery of Tommy, you know I was 8 days late and whined almost daily on my blog about it. So this time around I’m trying to prepare for an “early March” delivery, hiding my packed bags so I don’t have a constant reminder that, as the doctor likes to say, the baby could come at any time from 36 weeks.

This child has been much more aggressive then Tommy. He is always pushing a little too hard in various directions that make me feel internally bruised and beat up by the end of the day. This development makes me nervous as I would really like another mellow and chill kid like Tommy. I need easy babies, people. My threshold for stress and difficult things is not high enough for any high maintenance children.

Ryan and I decided early on that we liked the name Charlie. Probably Charles Ryan Lorsch, officially. But, I’m not 100%. Since I haven’t done any other name searching, I’ve decided I need to kick my butt into gear and start looking through family history albums to get some ideas.

Can you tell that I have zero mental energy? Trying to be creative right now is really pointless. I need to save my energy for when Tommy throws some olives or wrestles with me while changing a poopy diaper. I will leave you with this adorable picture from Christmas that my sister-in-law Cara took of Tommy while he was wearing protective glasses.

Home Update

2012-01-14T15:09:00.001-08:00

Hi all, do you like my blog makeover? I’m especially proud of the header I designed. I just love yellow!

Anyway, I thought I would do a blog update of home happenings. I created a picture frame collage and finally filled in the last frame, so I wanted to show it here. I don’t know how to take pictures of mirrors and glass without a glare, so you’ll just have to enjoy my amateur photographs. I collected all the frames at thrift stores and spray painted them white. The large middle picture I put yellow crepe paper down (used to be red velvet), but I don’t think I love it. A bit too bold for me, perhaps. I’m excited it’s done though and can’t wait to rotate new family pictures into it each year.

A MAJOR highlight on the home front was the new white fan we purchased for the family room. Here is the previous brown tuscan-styled fan:

And here is our new white fan!

I love LOVE looove our fan. It is so much brighter than the other fan and draws little attention to the ceiling. In fact, our new fan is basically invisible and I’ve found that I no longer stare at the semi-gloss ceilings with hatred. They just aren’t as noticeable anymore.

Further, Ryan surprised me with some new light fixtures for Christmas. I didn’t even think to put them on my Christmas list, but because my husband is so thoughtful and observant, he knew which fixtures I have been eyeing over the months and surprised me with them for Christmas. It is amazing how big of a difference light fixtures make to the home. The rooms feel more elegant and less heavy.

So there you have it. I’m in the process of doing some painting prep for the hallway and will definitely share some pictures once I’ve finished that.

35 Things: 2012 Edition

2012-01-06T13:35:00.000-08:00

It makes me a bit nervous to make my list so public, but I suppose it does help with motivation. I don't know what I'm afraid of, it's not like you're gonna slap my wrist if I don't complete it. Anyway, here's The List.

Spiritual
1. Read entire Book of Mormon using David Ridges study guide (available at Deseret Book)
2. Have seven days of perfect prayer out of each month
3. Read every Ensign for the year before the end of 2012
4. Read 3 church books
5. Read the new Relief Society manual (the one about Relief Society)
6. Go to the temple 12 times

Home
7. Clean out and organize extra room (including the closet)
8. Organize Tommy's old clothes for new baby
9. Paint hallway
10. Paint kitchen
11. Paint master bedroom
12. Paint master bathroom
13. Organize laundry room
14. Organize night stands
15. Organize desk
16. Create master shopping list for all household items, including toiletries, groceries, etc
17. Make and try out homemade laundry detergent

Health
18. Participate in a physical activity once a week (a walk, bike ride, etc)
19. Find 30 whole-foods, plant-based recipes that my family loves
20. Eat a strict whole foods, plant-based diet for 6 weeks (no meat, dairy, or sweets)

Personal
21. Write 52 blog posts (averaging 4 a month)
22. Complete 12 substantial acts of service
23. Read 3 secular, non-fiction books
24. Perform musical number in church

Financial
25. Continue to save up for and purchase my piano

Activities
26. Throw a party
27. Plant a garden
28. Can salsa
29. Go on a bike ride with my parents (they are hard-core cyclists)

Projects
30. Refinish couch
31. Refinish night stands
32. Paint chicken wire frame
33. Finish lamps
34. Complete finish boys' room
35. Finish advent calendar

There you have it! Once you sit down and start writing a list, you realize that 35 is a really big number... So, I've broken it down by month in hopes that I can stay on top of things and complete this list.

I wish you luck on your new year endeavors!!

Happy New Year!

2012-01-06T13:06:00.001-08:00

Oh wait, that was a week ago, wasn't it? I didn't get an awesome start to the new year like I had hoped. Tommy had strep throat two days before New Years, and then a bad cold, and then an ear infection. Meanwhile I started feeling nasty on New Years Day and have been battling a cold ever since.

Whenever I have a cold, I wonder why I usually refer to it as "just a cold." Maybe I'm remembering times when I get a runny nose? Seriously, this thing knocks me out worse than the flu. Great goodness!

On another note, I have my New Years Goals I will reveal on my next post that I am really excited about. I got the idea from my friend Katie who created a "35 things" to-do list for 2011. I watched enviously as she slowly checked off her admirable list while I couldn't even remember what my goals were for that year. Let's just say that a to-do list of tasks works so much better for me than a wanting-to-do-better general goal.

Along with that, I've decided to do some baby-step goals each week. Ryan and I get together on Sunday and review our goals from the past week and decide if we need to work on it some more, or if we've mastered the new habit/skill and then set a new goal. This week my goal was to do one load of laundry a day and fold it the same day I clean the laundry. Nothing makes my room look dirty faster than a pile of clean or dirty clothes. I have been in the terrible habit of thinking of my laundry as "done" when it was sitting in the dryer. It has been awesome to have everything folded and put away by the end of each day. I'm amazed at how little time it takes to complete one load and how much more productive and awesome it makes me feel. Anyway, I have a feeling these weekly goals will be geared towards making me a better homemaker. I've struggled with the whole managing the home things, and I've only got one kid!

Anyhow, I love you all and hope that your New Year has started a little better than mine. At least mine can only get better, right??

Chicago

2011-12-03T13:31:00.000-08:00

I've been procrastinating this post for awhile because I really hate adding pictures to my posts. Is there an easier way to do it than through Blogger? Please share.

Anyway, for Ryan's and my birthday, Ryan's parents generously gave us their frequent flyer miles to take a trip to Chicago. A dear friend of mine, Meghan, moved their last January and put us up for the four days that we were there. Ryan's parents also watched Tommy for us, so we had a kidless "hurrah" before baby #2 gets here in February.

I am recording this for memory's sake, so if you get bored feel free to move along!

The first morning there Meghan took us to the milk & honey cafe which was right up the street from their house. This place had the coolest "city" vibe, I kept looking around for Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan to meet up or something. The food though, oh my gosh, the food was amazing. I would have eaten there every meal if I could have.

Next, Meghan took us on a tour of the Shedd Aquarium. The architecture was amazing and judging from the excited squeals next to me, I'm going to guess this was one of Ryan's favorite places. I finally got to touch a starfish with my bare hand! It's something I've always wanted to do, and just fyi, they are surprisingly slimy. Another thing I've always wanted to touch is a sea cucumber. I kinda just want to squeeze one...

That night we had the best pizza of my life. It is this tiny little restaurant called the Oven Grinder. Rumor is that the Oven Grinder played a major role sneaking in alcohol during the prohibition period. It made me feel a little rebellious eating there! Also, on the street in front of the Oven Grinder is where the St. Valentines Day Massacre occured. Intense! Like I was saying though, these pizzas were amazing. They were actually pizza pies, but the best pizza I have ever had.

That would be Fernando's hand on my head...

We spent a lot of time strolling the streets downtown, heading to all the fancy shops and touristy locations. It was fun to finally see "The Bean", I don't even know what its real name is...and check out the cityscape from the park.

We also got to see the Water Tower, one of the few surviving buildings from the famed Chicago Fire. It makes me a little sad that so many historic buildings are gone from that period, but so it is my friends.

Another place we stopped at for a little snack is Wow Bao. The name is worth every penny for whatever you buy there. But really, you get this little pastry puff filled with yummy meat of your choice.

We were lucky to be there when they were having some sort of swap meet/boutique booth kinda thing. I don't even know what to call it. This is where I got all my souveineirs, excluding the maternity jeans from H&M. Tons of sellers were there, most of whom had Etsy shops, that were selling the coolest things. If I had it my way, Gilbert would have a lot more shops selling homemade products that are one-of-a-kind cool. I guess we have Etsy instead...

Another day we went to the Chicago Zoo. This zoo is outdoors and free! Free is my friend, but you gotta be skeptical about free. Imagine my surprise when this zoo was huge, beautiful, and had the friendliest animals around. A perfect way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

View from the zoo

Nearby is the Conservatory, which I pronounced "Consuvatree" in a British accent due to childhood influence from the board game Clue. This was also free and spectacular. There were so many beautiful plants I had never seen before that I knew would die the second I tried to plant it in Arizona soil. The best part was the moss exhibit that housed dinosaurs. It was awesome.

Of course we went to the Navy Pier, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone heading to Chicago. While it is cool that the World Fair was held here (why did we stop having World Fairs, anyhow?), all the shops were very touristy. I would have rather wandered down streets in the heart of Chicago and stumbled on amazing food and fantastic shops. It was still a nice visit though. We took a picture of the famous ferris wheel, and then I made Ryan go on this ride with me which he thought was totally lame but I thought was totally scary once it got going. Bad decision.

One of our last stops was at a pizza place (I'm drawing a blank on the name) where grafitti was encouraged. Another touristy stop that was fun and allowed me to leave my mark on Chicago forever.

I am going to leave you with this beautiful sculpture that is on the same street as Meghan's. It's just chillin in someone's front yard, probably for people like me to take pictures of it. I dubbed it the "poop" fountain :)

DIY sunburst mirror

2011-10-05T12:23:00.001-07:00

I love the look of sunburst mirrors, but not the price. So, when I found a tutorial on Centsational Girl for a paintstick sunburst mirror, and actually liked how it looked, I was sold. At first I was perplexed about getting the paint sticks. I don't buy paint often, so should I try to purchase them, or just go up there and ask for 50? I ended up asking if I could purchase paint sticks, but because they are free, they just asked me how many I wanted with a little raised eyebrow when I said 50.

It was easy and inexpensive, and was my first real follow-a-tutorial-DIY-project. I realized that projects take a lot longer then they appear online, and you have to problem solve along the way because nothing turns out exactly the same. All in all it was fun and I love the look. I can't wait to have pretty blinds and curtains framing that mirror!

I am having troucle embedding the link to CG's tutorial, so here it is: http://www.centsationalgirl.com/2011/04/diy-paint-stick-sunburst-mirror/

Where did September go?

2011-10-05T11:42:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I totally missed writing about all of September. It was an awesome month because both Ryan and I have birthday's and we went on a five-day trip to Chicago - without Tommy.

Also, I realize I haven't updated my blog readers about my decorating progress. So as such, prepare yourself for multiple posts about Chicago and decorating.

In the meantime, let me tell you about my new favorite band. They opened for Dashboard Confessional when we went to the House of Blues in San Diego for Ryan's Christmas present. We loved them, and so did the rest of the crowd considering how people started purchasing CD's like crazy. There is only one CD on iTunes, the other one you have to physically purchase. I hope they change that soon... Anyway, without further ado, I present Lady Danville.

You can buy their CD on itunes for $5, so why don't you take a looksee and tell me what you think?

My Tommy Boy

2011-08-27T11:47:00.000-07:00

It's been a little while since I've done an update on Tommy, so I need to write some things down before I forget how absolutely adorable he was at this age. He is just under 1 1/2 and is learning new things every day.

Some things that Tommy likes:

He LOVES "gig cah" or big cars, and watches an assortment of tractor and monster truck videos on youtube multiples times each day. We have taken to hiding the computers because if Tommy sees one, he'll yell "gig cah!!" until he gets to watch one of his youtube videos. This is especially difficult when Daddy is working on homework.
When we are driving in the car he yells "gig cah!!" the whole time, pointing to cars along the road. He won't stop yelling until you acknowledge that there is a big car and that it is so cool.
Tommy loves reading books, especially those that have animals in them so that he can say the noises they make. Tommy only knows animals by their noises, not their names, but someday he'll probably figure it out.
He loves giving kisses and will most likely give you one if you ask. He smacks his lips to indicate that he wants a kiss, and then proceeds to point at everyone who he wants to give a kiss. When it is just Ryan and I he goes back and forth until we each get 3-5 kisses. And, his kisses are typically drooly and open-mouthed.
Tommy loves it when his milk is in a bottle, not a sippy cup. He'll drink 2x as much if it's in a bottle.
He has a major fascination with pulling things behind him. He usually drags two different things behind him and walks around and around the house, sometimes for up to 30 minutes before he gets bored.
Tommy loves his "bah bee" or baby, the glow worm that Grandma Lorsch got him for his first birthday. He loves to hold it tight while he falls asleep and walks around the house with it while holding its ear.
He likes pineapples which sounds like "bawpum-apple", but swallows them whole which makes for some interesting poopy diapers. Same goes for raisins, which swell to a surprisingly large size by the time he "disposes" of them.
Tommy loves swimming and will usually walk along the steps splashing like a mad man. He is fearless with the water and will walk of the edge without any warning, always accompanied with a huge smile on his face.
This little boy has a sweet tooth, but a specific sweet tooth. He really only likes gummy candies, like starbursts, licorice, and gummy worms, etc.
Tommy loves to go "bye!!!" (he usually yells everything he says) and walks up to the garage door while yelling it at all times of the day. Our house must be pretty boring!
He LOVES being tickled, chased, and thrown around. Once daddy gets home, Tommy knows it is play time. Daddy loves to make roaring noises and chase Tommy around the house. Tommy runs while giggling like crazy until he just can't take it anymore and collapses on the floor squealing his head off. Daddy also does "buckin' bronco" which is when Tommy sits on Daddy's pelvis and then Daddy bucks around like a bronco. Tommy laughs so hard until he can't breathe whenever they play that game.
Tommy loves his Papa right now, Grandpa Lorsch. He yells "PAPA!!!" the whole way to his house and loves to cuddle up with his Grandpa. It really is adorable.
He has exceptional hearing and if he hears, no matter how faint, a dog barking, Tommy will start to yell "woo woo woo" with all the gusto he can summon. At times, he hears a child at church and thinks it is a doggy noise, so then he starts noisily barking at church until we can quiet him down. This is also something that we have to acknowledge before he will stop barking. Otherwise he would just...never stop.
At least a couple times a week Tommy will surprise us and tell us that he is ready to go night night. He'll come up to us and lay his head on our lap and say "nigh nee". He usually goes to bed really well. We just rock him for thirty seconds or so, kiss him and say nigh nee, and he goes to bed!

Watching "gig cah" on the computer with Daddy

Tommy's words

bawpum-apple (pineapple)
Papa
Baba (Grandpa)
Dada
Mama
bawbee (baby)
gig cah (big car)
moo
meeeow
baa baa
woo woo
cah cah (quack)
neigh
bah-berry (strawberry)
cah cah (cracker)
nie nie (milkies)
nigh nee (night night)
mo (more)
bye
ot dah (hot dog)
ieee (water)
nana (banana)
bape (grape)
bieee (wants a bite)
no
owie
uhoo (uh oh)

Tommy's Owie

Also, Tommy had a sad incident this summer. We were playing outside and running through the sprinklers. I was moving the playground onto the grass and wasn't watching Tommy. He followed me, but walked on the pavers that must have been over 100 degrees. He started screaming, so I looked and picked him up. His feet were all burned and he had a blister on each foot. We wrapped gauze around his feet which lasted all of 5 minutes until he started pulling it off. It was very sad for Mommy and Tommy, but within three days he was running around again!

Words cannot express how much I love this little boy. He is our pride and joy and brings us more happiness then I ever thought possible. We are so thankful for this little boy and the laughter he always brings to our home.

Paint Update

2011-08-23T11:43:00.000-07:00

I realize I am long overdue with an update of my newly painted rooms! Here is a "before" picture, a photo from the realtor that was selling the house. This is basically from the front door looking in. Looking at it, I realize window treatments do a LOT for a room, and that I really ought to get some...

And here are my beautiful gray walls! This is from the far back wall looking at the front door.

And from the front door looking in. I love my cool gray walls instead of the warm olive tones, and LOVE having flat paint instead of semi-gloss. The only bothersome part is that the previous owners painted the ceilings a semi-gloss so I have a shiny ceiling. Is it worth painting, my friends? At night the light from the fixtures glares off of it and really bothers me.

I have BIG plans for these two rooms folks. I already have some DIY projects I tackled that I will show you. Just realize that unlike decorating blogs that design a whole room in a week, I'm looking at a much longer time period. You gotta stick within the budget, am I right??

Grrrrraduation!

2011-07-27T20:35:00.001-07:00

Hi all.

So....I graduated. Well, WE graduated. Technically, I had been done with my schoolwork for about a month, but I am still glad that I walked the walk. It gave me closure, as well as some great pics to show my kids when I tell them it is important to get a college degree! You must know that these aren't my pictures, I just don't do cool snazzy pictures. These belong to Mrs. Cara Kleiner, my new sister-in-law who was so sweet to come to the graduation. My family minus Alisa were able to come, and Ryan's family minus Justin and Hannah were able to come. I really appreciate everyone who made the long drive and basically gave up 6 hours of their Saturday to watch us walk across the stage with tons of other graduates!

Tom Brokaw was the commencement speaker and did a fabulous job. Really, I loved it. I was so proud to watch Ryan walk across the stage. It takes some serious stuff to work full time and get a bachelors degree with a kiddo! Now he is working on his Masters in Accounting and is doing homework everyday after work until late at night. I keep reminding myself that once he is done then we will be FINISHED with homework!!

I am so proud of myself. I really am. There were so many late nights that I wanted to just stop, but I perservered. Five years and five colleges, and here I am with my degree and a baby. I started out loving English Literature...but now, not so much. I'm not passionate about it and will certainly not be pursuing it any further. That being said, I am going to take my sweet time raising my family and figuring out what really makes my pulse quicken and makes me want to dance with excitement. I'll let you know how that goes.

Afterwards I had a little family gathering at our house. That "Congratulations" banner is my first attempt at trendy paper crafts, and I think I enjoyed it. Ryan helped me cut out all of the letters individually and carefully tape them to the pennants. That, my friends, is true love. Though the pictures are edited, that is a little glimpse of my newly painted front rooms. I promise to post a family update soon with pictures galore.

If I have any readers out there who are in the midst of getting a degree or certificate, I encourage you to continue and bust it out! Just think of how awesome it will feel to walk across that stage, and to know that you have started and completed an intensive program that took countless hours. I am SO so so SOSOSO not the academic type, but with family support, I was able to finish. As I was sitting there watching other students get their degrees, I realized that I would not have gotten mine if I did not have such a supportive husband. He cleaned the house too many times to count, was super daddy, always offered a non-judgemental listening ear, and made me feel like I was the most amazing woman in the world. I am so thankful for Ryan. I feel like I am starting to blossom as a woman, and it is all because of him.

I love you boo-boo bear :)

figuring out what it means to be a woman

2011-06-26T13:30:00.000-07:00

Sunday is a perfect day to update the family blog. I've been really busy lately as I have been painting my two front rooms (finally!). Painting the wall the colors I want really does something for the soul. I feel so much lighter and happier. I am finally taking some noticeable steps towards making my house a home.

I'll post some pictures when all is done, but the color is a light gray with a couple of walls a darker gray accent. The rooms are so light and airy - I love it!

Life is really great here for the Lorsch's. Ryan and I are done with our bachelors degrees and graduate in July. To say that I am excited is an understatement. I seriously have so much time to tackle my to-do list! I am aware that I will probably look back at this no-school, one-kid time of my life and realize I had it great, so I'm trying to enjoy every minute.

I had an epiphany the other day in regards to my "womanhood". Ryan and I try to be frugal by distinguishing between our needs and wants. I always regarded decorating my home as a want, that it was not necessary and that I shouldn't spend money on decorating. Slowly, over the 2 years we have been living in this home, I have come to realize that it is a need that I have as a wife and mother. I need to be able to use my skills and talents to create a space that I love. It is therapeutic and makes me happy. At first I felt silly that decorating brought me true happiness, but it really does. I explained it to Ryan that as a man, he needs to feel like he is a good provider for his family. To be confident in his manhood, he needs to feel that he takes care of his family's needs, etc. As a woman, I need to be able to personalize the space around me. To do so makes me feel like I am a woman who can do something worthwhile to bless her family. This may seem silly to those of you who have already realized this, but I am so much happier now that I have figured out that decorating is an expression of my femininity.

As such, I have been given some spending money for each pay period and am THRILLED! Now I don't want anyone thinking that Ryan doesn't let me spend any money. We both agree on our budget, but after my epiphany, we have recognized the need for me to spend some money on myself. Now, when you have a set amount of money, you realize there are millions of things to buy. I am excited to take my budget and frugally decorate my home. DIY home decorating blogs are proof that I can make my home beautiful on a budget. I'll be sure to document my progress.

So that's all I want to say for now. Here is a woman at peace with herself and the world. Adieu.

Tommy's Birthday!

2011-05-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

My little baby turned one!! His birthday was on the 15th of April, but first-time grandparents were going to be out of town and they didn't want to miss Tommy's birthday! I posted the invitation (above) because I am SO proud of it. I made it on picnik you know, first time.

Anyway, I bought a monkey cake pan but started getting anxious about decorating the cake because I've never done it before. I told Ryan I was just going to make the traditional two-layer cake instead, but Ryan surprised me by saying he would decorate the monkey cake himself. I was like, if you're going to do it then I'll do it with you. So, we made the cake and Ryan was icing pro and taught me different techniques that he somehow figured out on his own. When we were all done Ryan was like, "this cake is SO adorable." I just had to kiss him when he said that.

Tommy was just learning how to walk around his birthday, so I included a picture of his wobbly steps. He's a pro now, but it was cute in the beginning.

Then we got a picture with all of his girl cousins. Tommy has four older girl cousin and has one younger girl cousin. We'll see if we can get my sisters to make any boy babies!

Tommy's favorite thing to do right now is push things. He LOVES pushing anything, a chair, laundry basket, tool box, trash can, etc. He spent at least 30 minutes pushing this wagon around at the park.

Then we sang happy birthday to Tommy! He had this little smile on his face while we were singing, it was cute. Then Ryan and I helped him blow out the candles. What we didn't realize is that he was getting a taste of the cake while we weren't looking! When I saw the picture I asked Ryan why he was making a weird face. He told me we were "fake blowing" for the picture. I was like, so...don't look weird next time.

Tommy with his eyes glazed over eating the cake. He wasn't crazy about it. He would just grab little bits and put them in his mouth. A little neater than I thought he would be.

I am so glad we got a picture of Tommy giving me kisses! He is a very loving boy and likes to give open-mouthed kisses. Even though it is very wet it just melts my mommy-heart.

Tommy saying, "So, that was awesome."

We gave Tommy a big plastic dump truck for his birthday (you know, because he likes to push things), so he sat on it while he opened gifts from everyone.

The party ended with Tommy being pushed from one end of the basketball court to the other. He loved it!

Just a little update on Tommy for records sake: He is still a sweet little boy who loves being independent. He loves walking around, being outside, flowers, doggies, ducks, Twizzler Nibs, and going down slides. He can say a few words now: no-no, woof (for doggie), mama, dada, uh-oh, ticki ticki (for tickle tickle), bebe (for baby), nana (banana), ot-da (for hot dog), caca (for cracker), and a bunch of silly gibberish.

I'm Baaaack!

2011-05-24T14:13:00.000-07:00

After a ten-month break, I'm back to the blogging world.

I needed to take a break after I realized that blogging was causing some negativity in my life. I was feeling self-conscious about my posts, so I didn't have fun writing. Also, I would spend around an hour every day reading other people's blogs and would compare myself to everyone. I realized blogging wasn't the best thing for my emotional health and decided to sit back and just focus on living my life.

I feel so much better now and have come back to blogging so that I have a journal of our family life. I am limiting my blog reading so that I don't get immersed in everyone else's life and keep a proper perspective.

So anyway....life's been good.

I have three weeks left of class until I am DONE. I shouted that word, done, just to let you know. I applied to a masters program but realized that I'm not the happiest person when dealing with homework. Plus, I have no plans to pursue anything after I were to get my masters, so we would just get to pay student loans...for fun...! Instead, I'm just going to be a wife and mother and pursue interests that are more hobby related than academic. Can I just say how tired I am of proofreading papers for passive voice and poor grammar? I just want to write with bad grammar and not feel guilty. Is that too much to ask? Hmm?

Ryan finished his degree in April and we are walking together at the end of July. I'm trying to figure out if we want to have a big graduation bash afterward at our house, or just celebrate by going out to dinner. Decisions decisions!

Tommy is 13 months and is THE cutest boy ever! I bet you rolled your eyes, but my heart is filled with love for my little boy. At this moment he is saying "Uh oh" which sounds more like "aah ooh" that just makes me want to squish his little cheeks until he begs for mercy! I hope I have four little boys running around my house someday. I could be a soccer mom. Can't you see me yelling on the sidelines? I am seriously baby hungry and want to be pregnant right now. That's information people usually keep on the quiet, but my hunger is consuming and I just need to say something about it!

So, just wanted to say hi and get things rolling. I will post about Tommy's birthday when I have a bit more time to work out the pictures and all.

Anyway, I love you all. Be safe and say your prayers.

Sunday Afternoon

2010-08-19T00:49:00.000-07:00

I took these photos when we were all hanging out on a Sunday afternoon. I just love those times. Sunday was our 2 year anniversary and Tommy's 4-month mark. Ryan and I went to the Wet'n'Wild waterpark for our anniversary and had so much fun. The year before we had stayed at a resort hotel place and had it be all romantic, but times have changed! We loved just having tons of fun, feeling like we were kids, and not being parents for awhile. I have a feeling that our anniversaries will continue to get simpler as time goes on :)

Tommy had his 4-month check up and weighed in at 17.5 pouds - 90% for weight and 27 inches - 95% for height. He is such a big baby! Whenever people see him they comment on how he looks so much older because he is just huge! I can't wait until he can sit up so I don't have to lug his carseat around. As you can imagine, it is very heavy. Tommy is such a happy baby. Typically, he only gets fussy when he is hungry or needs to go to sleep. He loves to laugh and smiles at everyone. He especially enjoys eating his hands and blowing raspberries for fun. We love hearing his little voice as he coos and seeing his personality emerge. He is so easygoing - definitely a Ryan Jr. His hair is coming in very light brown and his eyes are so blue! A surprise baby in every sense!

Giveaway at I Heart Mesa

2010-06-23T16:15:00.000-07:00

Check out a great giveaway here. I just love dresses from the 50's!

Say what?

2010-06-14T00:43:00.001-07:00

Yo.

So, no pictures. Sorry folks, it's late and my contacts are drying out. It has been a good weekend, and I feel like I need to post about it as my way of pleasantly reminiscing.

Ryan went to Dallas for a few days last week for some sort of leadership convention with work. Now, I hate it when he leaves me. True, it has only happened once before in our almost two years of marriage, but still! As part of my desire to be a great wife, I just chatted about how much fun it would be, that nothing spices up a marriage with some "away" time, and I would update him with texts all the day long. What fun! Unfortunately, I ate a little bit of dairy (Tommy doesn't handle it too well) to see if I could get by with eating some here and there. Big mistake. I had a little boy who was in a lot of pain and wouldn't sleep for more than 30 minutes because of his gas pains. So here I was, guilt ridden and sleep deprived, without a husband to help. I tried keeping this unhappiness to myself. What was the point with letting the hubby know I was miserable and ruin his trip? Alas, the night before he came home I broke down in crocodile tears. Part of this might be due to the fact that we are dog sitting, and the "older" dog had a massive diarrhea episode inside the house. Ryan, bless his heart, soothed my tears and told me he would clean it all up when he got home. Yes, he really offered to do that. And yes, he does sweet things like that all the time. Do you see why I missed him so?

*There are those of you who have husbands who leave town often for military/business reasons, or are single mothers and I must tell you - you are better than me*

I picked him up the next evening, stressed from traffic and a hard week. Ryan took the wheel and drove us home where I promptly fell asleep at an early hour after a back rub and then slept in late the next morning. As promised, Ryan put Tommy to sleep after each feeding, allowing me some much needed sleep.

Now on to the great weekend part that I mentioned earlier! We had a great breakfast of crepes with our dear friends the Harris' and then enjoyed a quick dip in the pool. Then we visited Ryan's sister Hannah in the hospital (more on that later), then went home and took a long nap. We (I) had a relaxing evening doing homework (if that is even possible) while Ryan did laundry, cleaned the kitchen, and walked the dogs. Do you see why my weekend was awesome?

Then Sunday we blessed our beautiful baby boy, Thomas Michael Lorsch (more on that later). And again, I was able to see how blessed I am to have a wonderful husband and a healthy son. I am just so happy, so content, and so excited for this life I am living.

Now I must go. I have a husband who is asleep all snuggly in bed that really needs some cuddle time - he just doesn't know it yet!

Jesse Bear, What Will You Wear?

2010-06-02T22:34:00.000-07:00

Did you know, that even though it is hard being a mom, that I would rather do that than anything else in the world? I would rather be a mommy to my Tommy even if it means I don't get to do what I want most of the time.

Tommy at 3 weeks

And though when I need to get things done, I don't get to do it when I want to. Even if going places is a huge ordeal, or my breasts ache and leak and make me feel like I have zero control over my body.

Even if it means I have post-pregnancy tummy chub that I need to get rid of, and am still healing from an episiotomy seven weeks old. Even though I am so tired that my head bobs when I sit still, or I accidentally run into walls because I can't walk in a straight line. Even though I no longer recognize my body for the fact that I went from a cup B to cup E and have a heck of a time trying to find clothes that fit (I want my B's back!).

Even though my sheets have traces of dried spit-up and pee from the last seven weeks because there is always laundry, and clothes are more of a priority than sheets. Even though Tommy poops all over his changing table pad as soon as I wash it, and pees and poops on me daily.

Why?

Because nothing in the world feels better than to have him fall asleep in my arms with his head nestled on my shoulder. I sit quietly, listening to his soft breathing and sighs as he peacefully sleeps. I cherish the feel of his milk-scented breath on my neck, his soft cheek resting on my shoulder. His small hand wrapped around my arm, holding me and trusting me because I am his mommy. He is my baby, and I love him.

Tommy at 6 weeks

Hanging Out with Daddy

2010-05-22T10:41:00.000-07:00

Fear

2010-05-11T15:47:00.000-07:00

I love being married to Ryan. At the end of any given day, usually when I just finished nursing at some point in the middle of the night, I look at Ryan and my heart is filled with so much love. I go to sleep so content and happy, because I have eternity to spend with the man of my dreams. Once I found him, I understood what people meant when they were finally "complete". He really does complete me.

But, with something so wonderful, there is a risk. There is the risk that you might lose it. I have mentioned before that one of my biggest fears is losing Ryan, that he will die early and leave me here. I know that my biggest fear should be spiritual death. That something could happen that would jeopardize our plans for a forever marriage. But my thoughts always drift to losing Ryan physically. And now that I have a little boy in my life that has filled my heart with so much love, I now have another precious relationship that I could lose.

Awful scenarios fill my mind, almost daily, of something terrible happening. Most of them are silly. A car accident, health problems, a break-in, etc. At times, these worries consume me to the point of distraction. I can't sleep, I cry - I am angry with how much I love these two people that now I am terrified I will lose them.

When my cousin realized my nightmare, I was very upset. With such an accident hitting so close to home, my fears were realized as they could "happen to anyone".

I am ashamed to admit all of this, because I know that it says a lot about me. It shows that I have little faith, that physical danger is more haunting to me right now than spiritual danger, and that I am certainly not giving this burden to Heavenly Father as I should.

Anyway, I was reading The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom for a book club when I came across a passage that really hit me. Corrie is a young girl and earlier in the day, saw a baby who had just died. This then makes her realize that if this baby can die, then so can her sister, mother, and father. Here is the passage:

"Now I knew that it could really happen--if to the baby then to Mama, to Father, to Betsie! Still shivering with that cold, I followed Nollie up to our room and crept into bed beside her. At last we heard Father's footsteps winding up the stairs. It was the best moment in every day, when he came up to tuck us in. We never fell asleep until he had arranged the blankets in his special way and laid his hand for a moment on each head. Then we tried not to move even a toe."

"But that night as he stepped through the door I burst into tears. 'I need you!' I sobbed. 'You can't die! You can't!' Beside me on the bed Nollie sat up. 'We went to see Mrs. Hoog,' she explained. 'Corrie didn't eat her supper or anything.' Father sat down on the edge of the narrow bed. 'Corrie,' he began gently, 'when you and I go to Amsterdam--when do I give you your ticket?' I sniffed a few times, considering this. 'Why, just before we get on the train.' 'Exactly. And our wise Father in heaven knows when we're going to need things, too. Don't run out ahead of Him, Corrie. When the time comes that some of us will have to die, you will look into your heart and find the strength you need--just in time.'"

Baby Showers

2010-05-11T15:36:00.000-07:00

I realized that I never posted anything about the wonderful baby showers that were thrown for me. My friend Cherida had one a few weeks before my due date and I was so happy and surprised with how many of my new friends from church showed up. It meant a lot, and I was so grateful for the many clothes and other baby necessities. Truly, bridal showers, wedding receptions, and baby showers have saved me and I am sure plenty of others from financial ruin! Anyway, we played fun games, enjoyed great food, ate an amazing cake, all while surrounded by cute decorations. She also made me the cutest invitations I have ever seen. It was just awesome and I was stunned with the amazing support that was given to me by my church family.

Then we had the family shower a few weeks after Thomas was born, and that was also wonderful. My sisters threw that one for me, and again we had such cute decorations and great food! I really am blessed with a great extended family as well. I feel like we all look out for each other and care for one another. I love my cousins - especially my girl cousins that I feel I am getting closer to each time we are together. I also love my Aunts, who have really become second mothers to me. I look up to them so much.

So, all in all, the showers were a huge success!

Update with pictures

2010-05-11T10:37:00.000-07:00

My time on the computer has significantly decreased sine this little guy was born. It's hard to get on when he is awake because he is so wiggly and I want to give him attention, but then when he is asleep, my time is so precious that it is hard for me to "waste" that small amount of time on the computer. Today, as Tommy is napping so peacefully, I decided my chores could wait just a little bit longer.

I love being a mommy to this little boy. I have been blessed with a really good baby. He wakes up during the night about every three hours to eat and then goes right back to bed. I don't have to ever rock him to sleep and he rarely cries. We have a good time together, me and him. He loves when I sing to him and music in general. My favorite moments are when I get to hold him in my arms and we look at each other while I tell him how much I love him. I also love when he falls asleep in my arms, so peaceful and cute.

This is just a picture showing off the length of his eye brow hairs. About half an inch long!

Daddy loves coming home from work to hang out with his little boy. As soon as Daddy gets home, he takes over and holds his little boy while he does his homework and eats dinner. I am so lucky to have two wonderful boys in my life!

I have been venturing out and about, but I get stressed when I take him to social gatherings for anything longer than an hour. Trying to pump enough milk or nurse when out and about is stressful. I guess I haven't gotten to that point where I feel capable of handling anything Tommy throws at me while we are in public. He is a month old on Thursday, so I still have plenty of time to learn the ropes.

With all of my heart, I really love being a mom. I could kiss my little boy every hour of every day while smelling his soft skin and rubbing his full little belly. He is so precious to me!

Birth Story: Alisa's Version

2010-05-02T22:42:00.000-07:00

My sister Alisa who was at the hospital with me posted her version of the birth story. Since her blog is private, I thought I would post it on my blog as well so you all could read it and see the awesome pictures of me. Some of the most flattering pictures ever taken, to be sure.

So now that my sister has posted her version of her baby's birth, I will now share mine. I feel so blessed that I could watch this amazing event take place. This was the first birth besides my own childrens' that I've personally watched. It helped me decide that I really do want to be a doula someday. I could watch babies be born every day. Anyway, Katie was absolutely amazing and I'm so grateful she invited me along.

Thursday morning, Katie called to say she had been admitted to the hospital. I finished up an errand to Target, dropped off my girls at my parents' house, and booked it (I had gotten a text en route that they had broken her water) to the hospital. She was sitting on the bed, uncomfortable through contractions about 4-5 min apart. She was dilated to about a 4 if I remember correctly.
We decided that she should try the birth ball, so she situated herself thereon and Ryan and I jumped to position for each contraction. I massaged her back, and Ryan held her hand and helped her breathe. We reminded her to relax all different parts of her body and she was doing awesome. Pretty soon the contractions were coming about 2 min apart and they were pretty big (according to the monitor). After a while of this she decided to get checked. She was disappointed to find that she was still at a 5, so decided that would be a good time to get an epidural (this was about 12pm).

I came back after her epi had been administered to find her resting on the bed, almost asleep. I got on her laptop and Ryan went to get some sushi for lunch. He brought it back and showed me how to eat it (I've never had it). Katie was having some pain/pressure in her bum (prob the baby's head) so she and I were watching HGTV to distract her. Her doctor came in around 1:15 and checked Katie. She sort of ignored him since we were so deeply involved in the real estate show we had on.

Dr. H looked up and said, "shall we have a baby?" Katie said, "sure." Dr H: "You're complete. I'll go get a nurse." I jumped up, closed the laptop, grabbed my camera and turned off the TV while Katie and Ryan looked at me sort of confused-like. Katie: "Wait...how far dilated am I?" Dr H (walking out of the room): "You're complete." Me: "Katie, that's a ten! You're ready to push!"
It was hilarious. We all looked at each other and giggled nervously and excitedly, and Ryan quickly put away his lunch stuff. In less than an hour and a half she had gone from a 5 to a 10! It was amazing and so unexpected that Katie was a little overwhelmed by the thought that she was ready to push out her baby and meet him.

Ryan comforted her and helped her visualize her special bundle that was about to make his entrance.

So she pushed for half an hour.... (isn't this the best pushing shot?)

And little Tommy was born!

I know I keep saying how amazing it was, but seriously, it was incredible. I watched Katie go from an unsure pregnant woman in labor to a strong woman who knew she wanted to be a mother and she was going to bring her baby into this world.

The happy family.

Tommy meeting his grandparents for the first time-both sets were there.

My dad and his little namesake. I can see that they will have a special bond.

Tommy is the most perfect little baby ever. I have to say he ranks right up there with my babies in cuteness (every baby is the most beautiful baby on earth to his own mother as we all know). You can see a few of the newborn shots I took of him here.
And I have to say...watching a baby be born makes me want another one! hee hee....

So - good story, right? I think the best picture is of me pushing. If you aren't sure about pushing a baby out, just look at my picture to get an idea of positioning and then practice your heart out! Just watch out for them hemorrhoids!

How I Became a Mommy

2010-04-23T15:15:00.000-07:00

Thanks for being patient for the birth story. My Dad demanded that I update my blog, and seeing as how my little boy is 2 weeks old...I had to oblige. In a way, I feel like I've been hit by a train and am trying to recover. But don't worry, it was a big, soft, cuddly train :)

So, Wednesday at 3 AM was my induction appointment. I received a call from the hospital at 9 PM the Tuesday before and was told that there were too many women in labor for me to make my appointment, but that they would call me as soon as I was able to come down. I was frustrated, but what're you gonna do? So we went to bed, woke up, and just dawdled around all day. It was awful waiting for the phone call that NEVER came. We called a couple of times but were given the same answer. By Wednesday night my nerves were on edge, so I took my bottle of castor oil and just drank the darn bottle. Okay, not the whole bottle. I took four tablespoons, which is quite a bit when you are the one gulping it down. Previously I had taken two tablespoons but that didn't work out, so this time I meant business.

Ryan woke me Thursday morning before he went to work. I realized then that I was having contractions with a lot more pressure then before, so Ryan decided to wait it out a little and see if anything happened before going to work. The contractions continued to get stronger, so at 7:30 AM we went to the hospital to get checked out. I was at 4 cm and my contractions were steady, so they admitted me. I think it also helped out that I was already on the induction list. The doctor came in at 8 AM to check me out, and while he was doing so I felt a warm gush of water come pouring out (weirdest feeling EVER) and watched the Doc walk away with a crochet hook. "Did you just break my water?" I asked him. "Yup. Now things are going to get a little more intense." Oh great. Intense is an understatement.

Steadily they got stronger and stronger until they were seriously painful. And then when they were really painful they became even MORE painful. As in, I don't know what to do with myself because they are too painful to handle. The contractions were three minutes apart, each lasting at least a minute. Throwing up seemed inevitable at this point and the barf bucket was nearby. At this point, Epidural Lady came in to see if I requested her services. Before I was able to whimper out a "Yes", Alisa suggested I get checked to see how far along I was. So at 12 PM they checked me and I was only at 5 cm. "EPIDURAL!!!" I screamed. Okay, maybe I didn't scream, but I was frantic. If you are afraid of needles or are nervous about getting a shot with such a long needle - just let those contractions get going long enough and then you'll really understand "fear". After the epidural (aka the pinch) I could not stop smiling. Mmmhmmm, this is the life. I laid back and watched some HGTV and secretly ate a banana. Life was suhweet.

Then Doctor came in at 1:30 PM to check me out. Fine. Just don't interrupt my show. So he checks me out and says, "Well, you're complete. Let's get the nurses in here and deliver that baby." I looked away from my show, totally confused. "What? How far dilated am I?" Again, he told me I was complete. Alisa saw my clueless face and said, "You're at a ten Katie. You are fully dilated." WHAT???? I thought I was going to labor all day and possibly have the baby that night. In just an hour and a half I went from 5 cm to 10 cm and was ill-prepared emotionally for the fact that I was just about to push a baby out of my body. I was waiting for the 8 cm mark to start really preparing myself, but that mark had come and gone.

The nurses came in with all the equipment and they readied me up for the delivery. Tears were running down my cheeks and my breath was coming fast as I realized NOW was the time. Oh my dear goodness. When the Doctor grabbed his stool and sat down, I realized I had to tell him something. "I don't know how to push a baby out." He then reassured me that he would help me through the process and I would be just fine. Basically, you just grit down and push like you are passing the biggest stool of your life. So I began pushing. Soon Ryan cried out that he could see the head. I see Doctor grab the scissors and look elsewhere so I don't have to watch him cutting my flesh apart. I pushed some more and then Doctor tells me to stop while he rotates the head. Oh my gosh, the head is out! I push once more and the baby slips out and into his arms. I was speechless as I look at this huge baby that just came from my body. They laid him on my chest and I just stared, emotional and speechless. "He is so beautiful." Ryan told me.

They took him away to do what nurses do and I just couldn't stop looking at him. He was finally here. I couldn't believe it. He was born 8 lb 12 oz, 20.9 inches tall with the longest eye brow hairs I have ever seen. Seriously, they are at least half an inch long!

Since that point I have no idea what day it is or what I have going on in my life other than nursing and changing diapers. I went through 60 diapers in a week and feel like I could change them with my eyes closed. I was also having serious problems changing diapers without getting pee all over me. What they say about boys are so true!

As of Thursday, Thomas is 2 weeks old and weighed 9 lb 5 oz and is a little over 21 inches. He is a happy baby and doesn't cry much, but nurses ALL the time! He has stolen my heart and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Introducing....

2010-04-15T17:20:00.000-07:00

Thomas Michael Lorsch

Born today, April 15th, 2010

8lbs 12 oz

1:47pm

Katie and Thomas are doing wonderfully. Katie did a great job giving birth, Ryan was her fabulous labor coach, and little Tommy was a champ!

Katie will post the birth story later. (This is her sister Alisa).

She was amazing!!

Baby Update

2010-04-13T06:55:00.000-07:00

It wasn't until I was at the doctor's office yesterday that I realized how frustrated I was that I had made my appointment. I really didn't think it was going to happen, but there I was was - waiting, with no contractions. They took me in and hooked me up to a machine that monitors the baby's heartbeat and gave me a little hand gadget so I could push a button every time the baby moved. Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, the little guy was asleep so I was hooked up for a good 15 minutes before he decided to make an appearance. After another good 15-20 minutes, they finally unhooked me as the baby was moving enough to be happy and healthy.

The Doc came in and said I was almost at 4 cm, so I guess I moved up in the world. At least progress is being made, right? After stripping them membranes again (which hurt considerably more this time) he asked me what I wanted to do.

"I don't know." I answered, so emotionally exhausted.
"Shall we set up another induction date then?"
"Sure." I wearily answered.
"Okey dokey." (His happy attitude was not what I needed that morning)
"Is there an increased chance for me to have a C-section by being induced instead of just going into labor naturally?" I inquired.
"No. Not if you body is ready - and your body is ready."
"Mmmkay."

So, I am having this baby Wednesday morning at 3 AM - again! I guess that is my lucky time or something. I feel so much better about this induction appointment than the last, maybe because my body has progressed quite a bit since then. And because I felt a nice peaceful feeling in the office after talking to the doc. The way I see it, I am having this baby really late tonight. I can't tell you how relaxed I have been since making the appointment. Instead of thinking, "what can I do next?" to get myself in labor, I have been able to just sit back knowing that it is coming soon enough. What a relief!

For those of you ladies who are expecting, you must do a little something for yourself. My sister went to a nail salon to get a pedicure and reflexology massage and suggested I give it a try. My sister and her friends who have done it all went into labor within 24 hours, but even if you don't, you won't regret it! It is Nails of the World on Val Vista and Elliot and let me tell you, I have never felt better in my entire pregnancy. A Vietnamese man named David has found a special place in my heart as he rubbed my feet and prickly legs for at least 20 minutes. It felt so amazing I was delirious with happiness and kept on smiling at him with a big goofy smile. "This feels sooo goood" I told him. "Good. good. Now you have nice labor." He responded. I don't think they'll give you the massage until you are at least 39 weeks - but you must do it ladies. You must!

Following the advice of many, Ryan and I went on a date last night to the Cheesecake Factory. It was definitely the nicest date we've had in a long time, and it was exactly what I needed. Maybe not in a caloric sense, but emotionally :) We dined, more relaxed than we have been all week, excited that Thomas is going to be here soon enough. This date will be a cherished memory in the months to come.

This morning Ryan woke me to say goodbye before he left for work. He became emotional, sharing his anxiety and fears about fatherhood and my safety. He fasted for me on Sunday and has been the best husband through this entire pregnancy. I was surprised to be comforting him for the first time as he has taken everything in stride, but reminded him of the peaceful feeling that Heavenly Father gives us every time we pray about this big event in life. We will get blessings tonight before we go to bed, and know that many are praying for a safe delivery.

And now, I am going to get myself some breakfast. Next post should contain pictures of a brand new baby boy with TONS of dark hair.

Still No Baby

2010-04-12T13:19:00.000-07:00

Just in case you were wondering, I am still very much pregnant. At my last doctor's appt they had made an induction appointment for Monday (today) at 3 AM. I know, three in the MORNING! I guess you can't be picky. Even though they had made the appointment, I had this nagging feeling. I don't know how to explain it, except that I was unsettled for some reason. I finally decided to cancel the appointment and felt a lot better after doing so - I figured I should give my body a week after my due date to get things rollin'.

Unfortunately, my body has been giving me false alarms like crazy. On Sunday I woke to contractions that were three minutes apart. These continued whether I was laying down or moving around at exactly three minutes, so I figured after four hours of this that I was most likely in labor! At my six hour mark, Ryan and I headed to the hospital to have things checked out. I didn't think I was far enough to be admitted because while the contractions were strong, I was still able to walk and talk through them. But, I did want to get checked out to make sure everything was going well, especially since my contractions were getting closer to two minutes apart. I was almost at 3 cm - but this is after six hours of steady contractions! We headed home so I could continue the day laboring at our abode and was told by the nurse, "We'll probably see you tonight!" I continued laboring, but then about dinner time my contractions became irregular. We went on a walk with Ryan's family and got some intense regular contractions going. Once we got home for the night, my body continued to have steady contractions at 5 minutes apart that were a lot more intense than any I had that day. After two hours of this (midnight) I decided I should get some sleep, and that the contractions would wake me once they got hard enough.

Imagine my dismay, or rather, extreme disappointment, when I wake up today to Ryan's alarm clock. Why didn't the contractions wake me up? Because they had stopped entirely! I was devastated. And angry with me body - we are not on speaking terms. Ryan was not supposed to be going to work, he was supposed to stay with me and help take care of our baby boy. I tried explaining this to Ryan and he said, "Well, call me when he decides to come." Bummer.

At my doctor's appointment today I found out that I am almost at 4 cm and am having contractions, but very irregular. We are setting up another date to be induced this week - and I feel a lot better about it now. So, whether my body decides to get with the program or not, I WILL have my baby by the end of this week. I'll keep you updated!

P.S. Oh, and believe that I have tried everything. Castor oil, walking, exercise ball, special time with hubby, stripping membranes, spicy food, ETC.

All is well in the Land of Lorsch

2010-04-10T12:01:00.000-07:00

I am doing so well. I had a depression period involving "woe is me" and "where is my baby" but for some reason that time has passed. I know he has to come soon, he HAS to, so why sweat it when he'll be here for sure in a week and a half anyway? Now it's just a fun game.

It probably helps that I have been keeping busy. I made freezer jam and homemade bread for the first time this week. If you are like me, you are intimidated by the sheer domesticity involved with homemade bread, including the fact that you use something called yeast that seems as though it has a life of his own. And that people complain about how finicky it can be. Very intimidating. But, my first attempt worked out. Don't let your fears stop you from being a domestic diva! I decided that I am going to try cooking/baking all the foods that have intimidated me in the past, including pie crust. Perfectly light, flaky pie crust - you are mine to master.

Also, my cousin Kari whom I wrote about here is having a birthday in May and my sister Melanie, author of The Crafty Cupboard, is selling really cute fireman onesies to raise money for my dear cousin to spend however the heck she wants. You can see them here and the link to the Etsy shop is on the right side.

Nothing

2010-04-07T11:22:00.000-07:00

No baby, no contractions...no signs that a baby will be coming anytime soon.

I've realized that you can't pray for the baby to come out when you want...bummer.

Thinking Labor Thoughts

2010-04-04T23:06:00.001-07:00

D-Day: Wednesday

Well, I made it through the weekend. I had a wonderful time with Ryan where we had plenty of conversations involving how excited we were to be parents and to have our baby boy. Now, just because I decided to have a nice weekend not being pessimistic about my swollen pregnant body does not mean I didn't do anything to try and bring on labor.

All last week we walked about a mile every night, but then on Friday I stepped it up a notch and we walked 2.5 miles. I had contractions the whole time I was walking, but as soon as we got home they disappeared. Saturday night I wanted to tell my body who was boss and walked over 3 miles. The contractions were there, but when I almost died from exhaustion at the end of our walk - I realized I might be overdoing it just a little. And of course, the contractions stopped as soon as I got in bed. Upon waking up this morning, my pelvic pain was really bad so I decided that I wouldn't take a Sunday night stroll. My body needed a break, poor thing.

My doctor appointment is tomorrow morning and I tell you, I must hear that progress has been made! If I go in there and am still 2 cm, I might cry. After the appt of course, when I'm alone in my car and can really let my pregnant hormones run wild. The funny thing is, next time I am pregnant I know that I won't be doing any of this to bring on labor. Two kids just seems overwhelming... But, one child at a time, right? Anywho, send those labor thoughts my way - we're thinking contractions people!

Taking a step back

2010-04-02T12:36:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to my cousin Jamie for having her baby girl! In case you didn't know, she was due 3 days ahead of me, so this means that I am now allowed to have my baby.

I have been wanting to post something these last couple days, but I realized all I wanted to do was whine about how hard it is to wait for your baby when the light is clearly at the end of the tunnel. But I don't like to read from whining people (think Bella from the Twilight series...) so I refrained and twiddled my fingers, thinking of something else I could write about.

Ryan surprised me today by getting home at 11 AM instead of the usual 5:30 PM. It seems that due to the Passover holiday, he was granted a half day, but didn't tell me so it would be a surprise. Funny really, because when I woke up today all I could think about was being with my hubby. I just wanted my best friend with me, maybe go to Costco and get a gloriously huge hot dog. The early reunion was great, but then I sent him off to take a little nap since he has been averaging six hours of sleep while I have been getting about ten..tee hee. He is so cute when he sleeps!

Ryan plans to finish building the changing table/dresser he has been working on today, and the rocker/glider is supposed to be in today as well. It is so fun getting everything together and "ready" for the baby, even though he will certainly have no clue as to the preparation we put in on his behalf when he arrives home from the hospital :)

When Ryan got home I told him we should have the baby this weekend. He smiled and said that sounded like a great idea. But then I got to thinking while Ryan was sleeping, that I should really take these last few days we have together and enjoy them. Enjoy being with my husband all weekend because of General Conference, getting to wake up together and run random errands whenever we see fit. This really is the last of our time together without the baby, and though I yearn for that baby every waking moment, I can see that this last bit with just my hubby to cuddle with is a blessing in itself.

So, if I don't have the baby this weekend, that's okay. Because that means I was able to spend all my time soaking up the love that my husband gives me daily, and maybe getting that Costco hot dog.

Can't Sleep

2010-03-31T00:38:00.000-07:00

I am getting really anxious for this baby to get here. Though I can't see the actual time because my computer is funky, I am going to say it is Wednesday which means my baby is due in a week. But, since I have been talking with Tommy lately, we have agreed that it would be a good thing for him to come just a little bit early. I told him I would help him out, so I've walked 2+ miles for the last two nights and am eating spicy food...among other things.

Everywhere I look I find someone who just had their baby - all wrapped in swaddling blankets with their fuzzy new-born hair. I get this overwhelming feeling inside and think, "Where's my baby? I want my baby!" You just get to this point where all you want to do is hold your baby and feel the weight of him in your arms, kiss his tiny cheeks, feel his tiny fingers, and rock him to sleep while smelling his sweet baby smell.

I'm beginning to realize that a new mommy-to-be can get extremely paranoid about the health of her baby and the labor and delivery if she is left to her thoughts. I have had no problems and no cause for concern this entire pregnancy, but sometimes when life has been treating me really well, I start looking behind my shoulder waiting for the inevitable trial. And life has been really good. And it usually doesn't last that way for very long...thus my anxiety.

What would I do to have a healthy baby and delivery? Just about anything. But in the end, this is not something I have control over. I just need to keep praying and have faith that everything will be okay in the end. I hate not having control!!

Whilst laying in bed not falling asleep, I poked Ryan and told him that I really loved him. He responded by saying, "I have great numchuck skills that you don't even know about, yeah yeah yeah!" I waited a second, then said, "Ryan?" He was fast asleep. I have no idea where that came from, but now I feel so much safer knowing that not only can Ryan protect me from bad guys with his sheer strength, but he is also skilled with numchucks.

We bought our camera and I simply love it. I was considering some super nice cameras like the Canon Rebel which both of my sister's use, but then realized that I have no professional endeavors nor a desire to do anything with the camera besides snap pictures of my family. This being said, we bought the Fujifilm S1800 and I feel like I am snapping pictures for National Geographic. Since I am sitting in a dark room and my body is tired, I will have to upload some pictures for you another time. I know - I'm sorry.

Well, I need to get to bed. My husband is probably getting very restless without someone to cuddle with.

Let's take a peek at ya

2010-03-26T12:38:00.000-07:00

For those of you who have the same Dr as me, you know who this is. He says it every time before he checks "down there". Honestly, it's comforting. I like consistency, especially when dealing with uncomfortable things. I am now dilated to 2 cm and 80% effaced, so I barely moved up in the world of labor and delivery. I would be surprised if anything happened soon, so don't get your panties in a bunch.

Today I am going to buy a camera. This is very exciting, especially since our current camera is only 3 mega pixels and is just...getting a little older. Have you ever wondered why I never have pictures on my blog??? I told Ryan I want to have good quality pictures of our new family, and he agreed that now was the time. I am impossibly excited, so be prepared for random pictures of Ryan or my feet as I take pictures of anything and everything.

Oh, and I'm going to have Spiderman macaroni and cheese for lunch today. This makes my tummy excited!

Oh what a beautiful moooorning!

2010-03-25T11:25:00.000-07:00

I am a very happy pregnant woman. Probably because I get to sleep as much as I want and still have time to get everything done that I need to. And probably because I have a very sweet husband who loves me and rubs my back every night.

I really have the best husband. He is my best friend and will always be there for me. When we are sleeping, Ryan will change his position every once in awhile. When he does that, I think it wakes him up a little bit because every time he moves he says things like, "Oh I just love you Katie", really loud. It wakes me up, but it just makes me smile and then we fall back asleep. He really does love me. He went with me to Target at the end of a long day and I was waddling very slowly because my body was trying to shut down from overuse. I didn't realize how slow we were walking until I looked over at Ryan and he was taking one step for every five of my "shuffles". We both started laughing and he just commented that he was able to look everything over very thoroughly. "Nothing gets past me".

It makes me happy when I take care of Ryan. On my good days I make him a salad for lunch and keep our pantry stocked with healthy snacks for him to take to work. Then I thaw out his fish and have it ready for him when he comes home at night. I like knowing that I am taking care of him. That I made sure he has clothes to wear to work. Then there are things I do to take care of him that he doesn't especially love but must be done - like cleaning out his ears or plucking his eye brows. And even then he appreciates it.

I really love my husband. He gives me peace about our future and comfort in the present. He holds me close when I am hormonally pregnant and need to cry. He makes everything okay, and helps me realize that whatever happens, we will make it. He really is my everything.

Oh, you know...

2010-03-23T13:04:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Thanks for responding to my inquiries last post. I now feel better educated in this blogging world. For now, this blog is staying public. I will let you know if that is going to change.

As of tomorrow I will be 38 weeks pregnant. That's pretty darn pregnant, if you ask me. Especially as I sit here and need to rearrange myself with every movement that Tommy makes. Things are getting a little cramped, and I wonder if he is getting impatient to have a little more wiggle room.

My mother is going out of town and won't be back until the 29th, so I must NOT go into labor before than. My last two appointments had me at 1 1/2 cm dilated and 70% effaced, no movement in any direction, so I feel good about holding out. Not that I am likely to be early anyway, but you must understand that I like to feel as though I have control of this labor thing.

Ryan and I took the hospital tour which made everything seem a bit more real. That yes, this baby is coming. And yes, it is coming with painful contractions, etc. The labor and delivery room was a bit overwhelming with the big spotlights and stirrups and I found myself crying because everything is so scary. But now I'm back at home feeling uncomfortable and suddenly those big spotlights aren't so scary anymore.

I had a great baby shower on Saturday which helped me feel so much better about having a baby. It helps when you have the supplies to take care of a baby, you know? I've washed all the clothes and sorted them into their perspective age groups. I've probably oohed and aawed over every outfit and kissed the little footsies a million times. It just blows my mind that a little baby is going to be wearing those clothes, and that baby is going to be MY son! It's whack, man!

Yesterday was my LAST day of work and I can't tell you how awesome that feels. I would come home from work exhausted even though I was just sitting in a chair all day and take a nap until Ryan came home. Then we would eat dinner, do homework, and go to bed. The house was falling apart, I hadn't gotten groceries in close to a month besides milk and eggs, and I had no idea if our bills were being paid. Thankfully, Ryan took care of the bills part - but we were both so busy that nothing was getting done. So, today I slept until my body decided to wake up. I was so shocked to roll over and see that it was 11:30 AM! I've since gotten up, started the laundry, eaten breakfast, and finished other tasks that had been building up for some time now. I feel ridiculously lucky that I am able to quit my job and have these last two weeks to finish some serious nesting and get ready for a baby.

Private Blogs

2010-03-09T14:26:00.000-08:00

Hi all. Before I go into this private business, I have a story to tell you. Since my last post, my pelvic pain has remained the same. It hurt, I would waddle, but life went on. Then on one particular day I went to Hobby Lobby to return a picture frame and decided to walk about and window shop, as one sometimes does at really cool craft stores. I walked around for about an hour and then had to leave for other pending errands. My last errand, the grocery store, was uneventful until the end when I was hurting so much that I had to stop walking periodically. And this was the bone pelvic pain, not muscular could-be-contractions pain. I decided that was my cue to head home. I rested up and went to bed shortly and thought all was well. In the middle of the night, Tommy was tap dancing on my bladder so I tried to get up to go to the bathroom. But, my pain was so intense that I couldn't get myself out of bed. Ryan came to my aid and pulled me up and I did my business and went back to bed, thinking all would be healed in the morning.

Well, I woke up that morning wanting to turn on my other side only to find that I couldn't move. My pain was so bad that I could not roll over to my other side, let alone get out of my bed. In a panic, I called Ryan and explained the situation. He talked me through slowly rolling to my other side, but it was not working. It felt like my pelvic bones were grinding together, bone on bone. I began crying, feeling completely helpless especially since bathroom, breakfast, and a job were looming before me. I eventually called my boss and explained that my body was not working properly to the point that I wouldn't make it in to work. Then I called my Mom to rescue me but she was about to leave town in an hour. I cried again, and then talked to my husband who suggested contacting his parents to see if they could help. I agreed and Ryan called them while I slowly rolled out of bed and walked gingerly to the shower looking like I had ridden on a horse for 24 hours straight. Then I sat in the shower for who knows how long just enjoying the hot water and not moving at all. This eased the pain and I was able to waddle back to bed where I went to sleep for a very long nap since I was exhausted at this point. It's sad really, how tired I am all the time doing nothing. Well, I guess I am growing a human being inside my body, but still. After the nap, Mom Lorsch came and got me and I was pampered and loved and had great company. What a blessing to have such great in-laws. Parents who I consider Mom and Dad 2 and respect and love very much. The rest of that day and the next was spent resting and using ice packs and heating pads.

Since then, I have dramatically cut back on any walking. I am terrified of that happening again, so no more window shopping for me. Has anyone else experienced this in their pregnancy? I'm doing great now and fully recovered, back to the same old dull pain. And to think that this is really the only thing that has happened in my pregnancy of any excitement. I have been so blessed these 8 months!

I am 36 weeks tomorrow and have an appt on Thursday to start checking to see if I am progressing at all. I am started to get very excited! It has only been until very recently that I have begun to be anxious for this boy to come out. While I am getting more uncomfortable, I can also feel Tommy more than ever. I love feeling his hiccups, it is probably my favorite thing. And I also love feeling his foot or hand move slowly across my belly. I can't believe I am going to be a mommy!

Anyway, back to the reason I started this post. I was wondering why, to those of you who have private blogs, you decided to go private. Did something happen to you, or to someone you know? Were you just tired of nosy people? I want to know why you went private. So tell me, because I'm looking for advice!

Crotchity Crotch

2010-02-23T17:53:00.000-08:00

That is seriously the only title I could come up with because my pelvis feels like it has separated into two pieces, causing intense pain in my crotch area. I'm sorry if this is intimate talk for you, but I can't get around it. I'm sitting on a soft cushion and yet the pain continues! I suppose this is where baby-safe Tylenol comes in. And if you were wondering where the waddling comes in to play...right about now.

I first heard about this pain from my friend Jenna who is due a week or so ahead of me. And I think you need to know about it too, in case you ever get pregnant or have a wife that does.

Ouch.

So in other news, I have about 6 weeks left of this pregnancy. My child has become rather bold in his stretching and I worry that it will get painful if he stays inside too much longer. It's a little unnerving when something inside of you is pushing at your insides and making things a wee bit uncomfortable.

I restarted school today and am so excited to finish this darn thing. My goodness, it takes for ever but I have to believe it is worth it when you're done. But then I want to get my Masters, so is it ever really done???

We painted the baby's room and it looks spectacular. Believe that I will post pictures of it soon so you can all enjoy it with me. The crib is finally up as well which makes the big day seem even closer. And to think that I am still having a hard time imagining a baby inside of me! Seriously, I feel movements but never visualize any baby. I just need to see him. And pray that a maternal instinct switch gets flicked on when he's on his way out.

We bought a sectional - our first furniture purchase. Know that I will also take pictures of the couch too so you can be excited about new furniture. We got a really great deal at the American Furniture Superstore on Greenfield and feel, after looking at 50,000 couches over the months, that we have found the One. Ryan and I sit down on the couch just to sit on it, because we bought it, you know? It's like we can't get enough. We walk past the couch but have to make a stop to sit, and then get up and continue our errand.

Anyway, we're trying to enjoy our time as much as possible before the wee one arrives. Just napping and eating whenever and going to wherever whenever we want, etc. Wish me luck.

Maternity Pics

2010-02-16T15:52:00.001-08:00

Alisa took some preggo pics of me and I think they turned out fantastic! If you would like to see them, go here and enjoy! I can't believe there is a child inside of me! AHH!

Are you having a baby?

2010-02-16T15:21:00.000-08:00

If so, I recommend reading this article. Not that I've used it first-hand, but it seems to be the most practical To-Do List that I have read yet. Hope it helps!

The Week Before Christmas

2010-01-26T19:01:00.000-08:00

So, I posted about Christmas but have not told you about the fun to be had the week before Christmas. The Lorsch's rented a condo/cabin in Flagstaff up until Christmas Eve so that we could have ourselves a bit of a white christmas. It was so much fun and relaxing as we slept in and ate 6 meals a day. The boys went sledding in the snow behind the cabin while I got to watch from the window.

The boys being silly

Checking on Ryan because I missed him

Shoveling the path for the sled

Patrick getting ready to slide down

Ryan being ridiculously handsome

Then the boys went skiing/snowboarding while I stayed home with Mama Lorsch and we did our own girl thing.

All the men at the end of their slope

Ryan on the ski lift with a red-headed dude

Patrick and Papa Lorsch

Me being excited that Ryan is doing what he loves

Red headed dude taking a picture of us

The guys getting ready to hit the slopes

Ryan looking hard-core in his gear

I was a little bummed that I was pregnant which prevented me from joining them on the festivities as I have never gone skiing or snowboarding. Ryan and I plan on trying to go up to the snow once a year though, so hopefully I'll have the chance to go again.

We spent our down time playing games, watching movies, making yummy food, and doing last-minute Christmas shopping.

Our family picture

Ryan's family minus Hannah and Justin

Cool ice outside

Catching the boys playing video games

Adorable

2010-01-13T14:44:00.001-08:00

Is this not the cutest thing you have ever seen? Too bad I am having a boy... You can find this hat and other cupcake merchandise at Patter of Little Feet on Etsy.

Christmas

2010-01-04T14:59:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! I know, I'm late. I always forget to post about birthdays and holidays. I need to treat this more like a journal then...a social excuse. Anyway, the Lorsch's had a great Christmas. Anything is great with Ryan, anything. Even cleaning.

For some reason, probably because we did not plan a Christmas budget very well, we decided that we would just give each other hugs and kisses for Christmas and use our other funds for family members/friends. But, about a week before Christmas while we were driving somewhere Ryan said, "Santa might have gotten something for you for Christmas." I looked at him in surprise. "Really? And how much might Santa have spent on me for Christmas???" I inquired. "Mmm, about 20 bucks." Okay, not too bad. Ryan wanted the new Weezer CD, so I bought him the bonus set that ended up being close to $20 and called it good.

On Christmas morning, Ryan woke me up with kisses and took me over to the tree. There was a little bag nestled within the branches of Sees chocolate caramel candies. Yum. I was very excited. You see, when I was a young child, I loved candy. And well, I still do. And every year for Christmas my Dad would buy my Mom a box of Sees chocolates and all I could do was hover and drool as she would close her eyes and moan with each bite. After asking my Daddy why I received a Milky Way instead, and was questioning the fairness of it all (because kids like to be fair) he explained that someday when I was married, my husband would buy me Sees chocolates for Christmas. So, while the other young women were dreaming of wedding dresses, babies, and domestic skills, I was dreaming of Sees chocolates for Christmas. And that's what I got. (High five babe!)

So I was all excited about my candy - still am, actually, and then he led me to our sliding glass door and opened up the blinds. There on our patio was a beautiful garden box, just waiting to be filled with soil and seeds. I had oft mentioned to Ryan how much I wanted a garden someday...but the reality of heading to Home Depot and spending that extra $20 and finding the time to make the box resulted in me not having a garden. Little did I know that Ryan purchased the supplies and built that darn thing! And Ryan and I are always together. If we aren't working, then we are together doing something. So he was pretty sneaky. I felt particularly foolish for quickly getting him the Weezer CD even though he does love it. But this is the way that Ryan does it, he always surprises me with something so thoughtful and exactly what I want. Sorry ladies, this man ain't fo sale!

Oh oh, and then he made me melt by putting his arms around me and talking about how we would have a garden and our little boy would help me weed and collect the veggies that were growing plentifully, and we would sing songs as we worked. Okay, maybe that isn't what he said word for word, but it was pretty close.

Here's the beauty!!

Anyhow, it was a great little Christmas. Then we went over to Ryan's parents for Christmas with them. "Be over here at 6 AM" they instructed me. I argued that the presents would still be there at 10 AM, but they insisted. So, at 6 in the morning we ring the doorbell. Silence. Ring ring riiiiing! Silence again...but then we heard the sound of a startled awakening. "Oh ho!" I cried. "Looks like someone had a hard time getting up at the crack of dawn!!!" I teased them, and it was great, and then we got down to business. Now, opening presents really is a fun time. Everyone is so happy and it is really fun to see if the person liked what you got them, etc. The highlight would be Ryan getting his Dad's iPod Touch (Dad Lorsch now has an iPhone) and the both of us getting a QUILT. Yes! A quilt made from everyone's old jeans! My mother-in-law has never even hinted that she can quilt, not so much as a peep. Apparently Mom and Patrick (Ryan's brother) worked on this for weeks, making us the warmest quilt that is especially perfect for picnics.

The quilt

Someone's butt

And someone's crotch

I'm lucky that my in-laws have a sense of humor. Then I took a nap while we waited to call Justin, Ryan's brother who is on his mission in Paraguay. This call was different then last year. Different because Justin has changed in the way that missionary's often do, but it was clear that everyone was glad that this was Justin's last Christmas away from home. Most of us shed a few tears because it is so great hearing the voice of someone you love on a special day, and we really miss him. But, the part that turns this bitter into sweet is the fact that we are so proud of Justin and his amazing attitude and the exhausting hard work that he puts forth daily. We are all being blessed because of his service.

After the Lorsch festivities we went home and showered and then met up and my parent's house for a Christmas there and a phone call from Devin. The other cool gift I received this Christmas was from Melanie, who was not present physically, but definitely was in spirit. I opened her present to find a homemade quilt for my baby boy.

Are you all astounded by her skill? The sock monkeys are so cute and all the colors are just perfect! Check out her craft blog here and if you like what you see, you should Follow her blog. All of the quilt stitching she did free hand with her sewing machine. I can't even imagine doing anything like that, especially without some sort of guide! I was secretly crossing my fingers that I would get a baby quilt, so I was especially happy.

After our Christmas fun with my family, we waited for Devin to call. He was an hour late, which made me a little nervous, but we all made it for the call anyway. He is doing really great and has also changed quite a bit. We got to hear him speak in Ebonics which was hilarious because it sounded authentic. I asked him if he had ever been shot at and he got really nervous and hesitant. It happened in his first transfer and it was obvious that he wasn't wanting to share it now - probably for my mother's sake, but I weaseled it out of him. Apparently him and his companion were stuck between a shooter and a gang. They ran for cover behind a building and are doing just fine. I'm not worried, he's in a nice white area right now. And no, I am not racist. I just finally realized that stereotypes exist for a reason.

I hope the post wasn't too long, I just had so much to share. And while I did mention specific gifts, I should make it known that all gift giving and receiving was enjoyed by all, even if it was not mentioned within this blog post.

Stay tuned for my next post: The Week before Christmas

The Stock Family

2009-12-15T14:16:00.000-08:00

Last week, Skylar Stock,a firefighter, was killed while hunting when a large portion of a tree fell onto Skylar from 20 ft above. Skylar is married to my cousin Kari, and has three small children ages 4, 2, and 8 months. I knew I needed to write something about this, but find it really hard to find the words I want to say. I don't even know what to say to Kari, for how can you comfort someone when they have lost the love of their life?

The funeral service was beautiful with thousands in attendance, including the Tempe Fire Department. Kari gave me strength as I watched her go through this with such faith. It makes me wonder if I truly have the faith to go on if something were to happen to Ryan. Some of you know that it is my worst fear to lost Ryan while we have a young family. I have told him so, believing that I would not be able to go on without him. Now I watch my dear cousin going through my nightmare, and I still can't believe what has happened.

Kari's strength reminds me that families really are forever. Even though it will seem like a lifetime (for it almost is) before she sees him again, there is peace in knowing that your family will be united once again. I couldn't help but experience some anger and frustration at this accident, because I see a wonderful husband and father taken from life far too early. His children and wife still need him, or so I think. But perhaps I am placing too much emphasis on the here and now, and not in the forever. I do know that Heavenly Father will not leave them alone in their pain, but will lift them up and allow them to have joy once again in their lives. I pray often for Kari and pray that angels are always with them.

The healing process takes time and is not an easy road. As Kari is a stay-at-home Mom, things will be changing financially. If you would like to help their family, I have included some different options on the top right side of my blog. Please remember them in your prayers.

Before and After

2009-12-11T14:51:00.000-08:00

A coworker of mine gave me her old entertainment center which was awesome because we didn't have one. I knew the nice oak finish wasn't really my thing, so I decided to paint it black and add new hardware. The glass that was in the doors was lined with a brass finish, so Ryan painted those silver so they would match. I think it turned out pretty nice, no?

Before

After

Now..what do we do about this itty-bitty TV...?

Nie Nie's Story

2009-12-06T11:15:00.000-08:00

Taken from the Nie Nie Dialogues

I have been following Stephenie's blog, Nie Nie Dialogues since her accident in August of 2008. I didn't know anything about her and attended the benefit concert that Mindy Gledhill did to raise money for Stephanie. It was at the concert when her two little girls were singing that I realized there was something more to Stephanie than just a fun blog, and went home that night to read it.

I spent the entire night reading her blog. She was amazing, beautiful, kind, and loving. I wanted to be just like her. Since then I have been reading her blog. I cheered when she awoke from her coma and started writing again. I worried about what she would look like. As a reader, we never really knew how serious it really was, until this article was written in Arizona Living. The first part publishes today in the newspaper and the second half will be published next Sunday. I encourage everyone to read the article, even if you have never looked at her blog.

I cry for her. I think about her every day, especially before I go to bed at night. I love her. I had the opportunity to meet her here in Mesa, but didn't go. I was worried about how our meeting would go. I wanted her to know how much she meant to me, but what if she didn't understand? What if I couldn't tell her with words what she really meant to me? I have so regretted that decision. I wish so badly I could meet her now and hug her and tell her how much I love her. The pain that she has gone through is unbearable, yet she is a beacon of light to me.

I hope that Nie Nie's story will inspire you as it has inspired me. Take the time to read the article and look at her blog (the button is on the side of my blog). May we all count our many many blessings and strive to be better wives, mothers, husbands, fathers, siblings and remember what is most important in our lives.

Thank you Stephenie, for sharing your story with us.

Pictures

2009-12-04T19:02:00.000-08:00

Whoo - I'm having a hot flash.

Okay, much better. Anyway, I have some pictures to show you! Considering I never post pictures, this should be a very exciting event. I took my first pregnancy pics, so for those of you who never see me, here goes!

This is me, being pregnant. I am 23 weeks or 5-6 months depending on what book you read.

This is me being pregnant with my husband, who impregnated me.

I know that wasn't necessary, but sometimes I like being scandalous...

And this is us, with our Christmas tree. So fun!

Anyway, that's about it. Life is good. I'm hungry. Over and out.

Baby Boy

2009-11-29T14:08:00.000-08:00

So I do realize that my posts came to a dramatic halt, which made for a very anti-climatic resolution to the gender of my baby. I figured most of you would see it via facebook, so I got lazy and never finished the post.

Yes, we are having a baby boy. It's really hard for me to think of him as a he because both of my sisters have only had girls, so I've thought of all womb babies as girl babies. Once he pops out with his man parts it'll sink in and then I'll wonder what to do with him. A lot of ladies tell me that there is way less drama, so that is good. But I also remember my brother breaking a lot of things all the time...and I'm not so excited for that part :) But basically, I am just excited of the baby to come in general. Ryan has not been able to feel him yet, so that is the next big thing that I am anxiously waiting for.

Waving at us!

Hello Man Parts!!!

We had a great Thanksgiving with the Family Reunion on the Barnes side of the family. I had my freshman BYU roommate Carolyn come down with her husband and 9-month old daughter Felicity and stayed with us. It was so great to reconnect after the years and finally meet each other's husband and her child. One of the highlights from this Thanksgiving weekend though, would have to be the family auction. We bid on one of the Raymond temple pictures, the huge one in fact, and actually got it. Our limit was $150, and I knew someone would outbid us, so I just figured we would have so get it some other time. Well, no one else put anything on there, and at the very end, our bid was the last standing on that picture! I feel as though I've cheated my family out as that picture would easily sell for $800 retail, but no one else bid! I can't help that! ;) It was basically awesome and it is already hanging up in our home.

Even though we weren't able to have Thanksgiving with Ryan's family, we still went over there the day after and played the game Bang! with them. It was quite fun (as games usually are) and reminds me that I am so glad they like playing games as much as I do! Not to mention they have a delicious pumpkin pie recipe that has been handed down through the family that I need to get my hands on. Thanks Grandma Lorsch!

I am so thankful for so many things in my life. I have the best husband I could have asked for who loves me unconditionally and thinks everything I do is cute instead of annoying. He is my absolute best friend and I can confide in him with everything. I am thankful for great parents and equally great in-laws that I love as though they were my own parents. My family is just so great and always love me even when my best face is hiding somewhere. I am thankful for my job and for Ryan's job, and especially thankful for our home and that we are able to pay our bills when so many people cannot. I am thankful for the Marketside grocery store that is so close to my home, so I can get my pregnancy food whenever needed. I am so thankful for good health to mind, soul, and body. And most of all, I am thankful for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and for my testimony of Christ. Oh, and I'm thankful for a healthy baby (so far...keep your fingers crossed!).

I can't wait for this Christmas season and all the joy and happiness that comes with it. Happy Holidays everyone!

Crazy cool

2009-11-09T14:24:00.000-08:00

Melanie landed her little family on Pioneer Woman's website! Seeing as how tens of thousands of people look at her blog, I would say that she is famous. Go here to check it out in all of its glory. Also, PW's cookbook has made it to #1 on the NY Times Bestseller list. Pretty cool that I got mine signed, I guess.

Right now I'm trying to drink water, and more water, for my long-awaited ultrasound! Woot. I'll come back and post on here tonight so you don't have to wet your pants with anxiousness.

P.S. Ryan shaved his moustache. God really does answer prayers.

Pregnant Brain

2009-11-05T15:25:00.000-08:00

Did I mention I find out what IT is on Monday? I am so anxious I can hardly wait! Since I have four nieces and no nephews, I think it would be fun to have the first boy in the family. But in all reality, I really want a healthy baby. I am nervous because of the meds I have been taking and just want to have a child that can run and play and be healthy!

So, my sisters never told me about pregnant brain. Pregnant Brain is when you forget everything and have become an 8 year old in a woman's body. Ever since I had a little embryo in my uterus, I have been forgetting things like mad. I'll be talking in mid-sentence to Ryan and then forget what I was talking about. Or, I'll go to the store for something, and come back with the wrong item. Or I'll forget how to drive to a house down the road that should take 5 minutes but now takes me 15 minutes as I try to remember how to navigate this city I call Gilbert. Or I'll get mixed up with times and arrive at my violin lesson when it is over. You know, stuff like that.

It is driving me crazy! The special cord that connected my brain to my actions has snapped and I fear for my future as well as my child's.

Then, THEN, something else has been happening. I have been cleaning and organizing every single day. Suddenly little messes drive me crazy, I want the blinds free of dust and the mirrors to be spot free. I just can't handle my untidiness any longer!!!!

And then, my husband has decided to grow a moustache for the month of November to support prostate and testicular cancer awareness, also known as "MOvember". Do you know what my husband looks like? Do you understand what this could mean? This means he could be sent "home" to Mexico by mistake, or appear to have three eyebrows, just...one would be above his lip. I have specifically forbid this practice but he has chosen to ignore my Rules and get on with it. I told him I wouldn't kiss him, but I already did on accident. But from now on I will stay firm. Should I mention that we have a huge Klevin reunion this month? What do I do with a wayward husband?

Halloween and such

2009-11-03T14:42:00.001-08:00

So Ryan and I dressed up this year. I got our costumes ready two hours before the big Kleven Halloween party, and I was quite pleased with the results even though some people couldn't tell what we were... (we were salt & pepper) The colander was Ryan's idea, he is so very clever.

As you can see from the above photo, I do not look pregnant yet. I am 18 weeks tomorrow and am a little anxious to see a belly. I am peeing all the time now and still have to eat 24/7, but other than that, the pregnancy is great. I find out on Monday what we are having and I am SO excited.

Mmm, I'm really hungry and can't think of anything else, so I'm done for today. Have a good one!

A Sweet Note

2009-10-20T15:20:00.000-07:00

So I just got home from work to find an email that my husband sent me. It has got to be the sweetest thing I have ever gotten from him which is probably why it made me cry. Plus, I have never seen him write so well before with so much meaning. Ryan isn't what you would call "a writer" like I like to pretend I am. Anyway, since I don't know how to keep anything private, I'm going to post his little email here. I need to print it off and keep it in my journal forever. I think the part that makes it so special to me is that this was written by the person who knows me the best. He has seen me at my worst, yet still has so much love for me. Love is so special.

Katie,

In life we come across many different types of people. Most of them become cordial acquaintances that really have no meaning or impact on your life. There are a few that change your life forever. The reason I have found that these people truly have an impact is because of their expression of love that they exude. They change the way you look at the world. They make you question what really matters, where your priorities lie, what is ethical, and most importantly who you really are. These people see potential that you can't seem to see in yourself. They are naturally caring and serving. You typify and are the definition of this group of people.

Never have I loved someone so much. I have never felt so close and so loved. It is the little things that you do that make me smile each day. Katie I love you. Katie you complete me.

When you made me a special picnic with all my favorites. When I eat the salads that are so carefully prepared. When I see the home picked up and more groceries. When you decide to take me to the rock gym. When you clean my ears and pluck my eyebrow. I know you may be surprised but I like it when you pick at me. ( maybe it is the attention that I get from you.) I know it doesn't take much for you to do but when you smile, kiss, or even look at me, I will do just about anything to please you. Making you happy gives me a purpose. Thank you for being my best friend. I love daydreaming about you. See you soon.

Your man

(Why am I so lucky??)

So far, SO good

2009-10-14T16:24:00.000-07:00

I had an OB appointment on Monday and found out that instead of barely being 13 weeks, I was actually going to be 15 weeks on Wednesday. This pushes my due date up to April 7th, which means Jamie and I are basically due at the same time. It was pretty sweet to move up a week and a half without doing anything. Of course, this does cause me to puzzle even further on how this baby came to be...but it doesn't really matter much anymore, now does it?

This means that on November 9th I will know if my child is a boy or a girl. I am having a really hard time picturing my baby when I don't know what it's going to be. I'm hoping further knowledge on this topic will make it easier to pick out baby names. I might be making too big of a deal with this name thing, but I can't seem to find a name that settles well in either gender. I might be like Skylar and Kari and just name my baby about a week after it's born. :)

I do realize that I've turned into those pregnant women where all they talk about is being pregnant and their baby, but I really can't help it. It is around me whatever I do, asking me to eat constantly and be gassy 24/7. This makes it hard to forget things, like, being pregnant.

I am searching craigslist for a crib around $50. If anyone knows of someone selling their adorable crib, do tell. I have been realizing so much more these days how I have been so blessed because life did not turn out the way I had planned. When I was rejected from BYU when other friends with the same ACT scores and less extra-curricular activities were accepted, I was so sad and upset. What I didn't know what that my husband was not BYU-bound, so had I gone there, Ryan would have had to marry a mousy and unexciteable girl here. This same point is illustrated with my mission plans, but Ryan was able to thwart those directly by his pecs and cute smile. Seriously smitten.

Now, being with child, I can clearly see the tender mercies of the Lord with the timing of my pregnancy. This is more of a personal nature, but I am SO thankful I am pregnant, and that I am due in April. Heavenly Father was protecting me from what could have been life-long sadness. And to think that I was really upset when I found out I was pregnant. I was, didn't I tell you? I would cry about it and get depressed, but thankfully my heart was softened and I realized that I was actually being blessed beyond what I was able to see at the moment.

So, if your life is not going according to plan, just wait. Make sure you are living right, and some day you will look back and say, "I am SO thankful that...." and will be grateful that Heavenly Father is directing your life instead of you.

Do the Helen Keller and Talk with Your Hips

2009-09-28T15:58:00.000-07:00

Hello all. That is my baby. Right there. Or, as Michael from the office would say...well, it probably isn't appropriate to quote on my family-friendly blog :)

The baby was jumping and wiggling all around like crazy and Ryan and I were like, "WOW.....WOW...............WOW!!!" over and over again. There really is nothing else to say when you see a mini-baby in your tummy when you can't even feel it moving around! Totally wicked. We got some videos of the baby as well so we can rewatch it moving around in my belly.

I've also been experiencing some intense hormonal changes that have made my emotions crazy. These are a few of my experiences:

Reading "The Friend" (a church magazine for children) and crying at all the stories.
Watching the primary program at church and crying.
Cried in Relief Society for no reason.
Ryan was tickling me and I was laughing and then I started sobbing as though the world had ended or something.
And basically just crying all the time for no reason with Ryan wondering what is wrong.

I don't feel pregnant at all, which might make some women hate me. No throwing up or nauseousness, just being hungry a lot. Oh, and serious boob tenderness. I won't go into detail, but there was some intense pain involved. Especially when people hug you tightly and you can't say, "My boobs!"

Also, I got a job! This has made me the happiest person because I was going insane waiting for school to start and not doing anything. Now I am busy, productive, and earning some spending money (cross my fingers).

Oops!

2009-09-10T12:32:00.000-07:00

Are you the type of person that likes to "plan" out your life? I do this all the time, even though most of my plans seem to fall through. I did end up going to college and getting married, something I had tried to plan for, but nothing turned out the way I had imagined. I didn't attend the college I assumed I would go to, and I didn't marry the type of guy I had always pictured as my Mr. Right. But in every single one of these cases, the unexpected turn of events seemed to turn out better then I could have ever "planned", especially in the case of my husband!

I am using these past experiences to help myself feel better, because I done gone and did get pregnant well before my "plans" would have allowed me. Right now I'm feeling a little of the "deer-in-headlights" and just look at my tummy and think, "Really???" When I first found out, I was in shock and extremely upset. I knew I wanted to have children, but couldn't I choose when that would be? My plans!!! I cried and dumped all of my worries onto Ryan, but could not find solace anywhere. I suppose it was when I began to imagine an actual baby and holding this baby that I began to see how silly I was being. Ryan and I had created a child - how special and sacred! I may feel completely inadequate about being a Mommy, but I know that Heavenly Father knows more than I, and that it must be important for this child to come now instead of later.

I was also humbled when I remembered the thousands of women who are unable to get pregnant, or have to get serious fertility treatments to do so. Even though this baby is a surprise, I can't help but be thankful that my body is able to produce children.

Ryan is totally excited to be a Daddy - and he is going to be such a great Father! He already helps me so much, I know that with him as my husband, we will be able to handle anything together. And I am so thankful that we are in a home, because I would be seriously panicking if we were still in our ghetto one-bedroom apartment!

Anyway, I am getting more excited as each day goes on. Thank goodness these babies marinate for 9 months so I can mentally and emotionally prepare for the arrival! Due date is April 16th!

On the Other Side

2009-08-31T18:50:00.000-07:00

When Ryan and I first got married, I basically disappeared from the face of the earth. I spent every second of my time with the man I love who is the best and dearest friend I have ever had. While Ryan is usually still my number one choice of people to hang out with me, I feel the need to have friends very strongly. The sad thing is, my number of friends have dwindled as of late. There are a few I still keep in contact with, but all of them are out of state. I find myself having to find a new circle of friends to be with and it is extremely hard for me.

I remember when I was younger, I had been in the same school district all of my life and knew a lot of the people. When someone new would move into the ward or into my class at school, I would make it a point to befriend them and invite them to hang out with my "group". It was always really easy and natural for me to do that, and I enjoyed making more friends that way.

Now I find myself on the other side for the first time. I am the new person and everyone else already has their groups and good friends. I am now the person that needs to find a place to fit in, for find those young ladies who have things in common with me and who I can have fun being around. One girl in the ward has already extended her hand of friendship to me by inviting me over during the afternoon. I am touched by her kindness, but feel awkward in my role. How do I be "myself" when I don't know the other person? I find myself being rather formal, polite, distant, yet caring. How do I let people in? I just don't know how to do this.

Since Ryan is out until very late tonight for school, this young lady has invited me over to watch a movie since her hubby is out too. I pray that I can open up and share my personality. Anyone ever been in this position? What did you do?

Stuck

2009-08-27T14:06:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I ever stated so on my blog, but we are moved into our new home and have said goodbye to ghetto apartment living. And when I say ghetto, I am very sincere. We have more room than we need, but I have a feeling that once kids are in the picture, all of our extra room with be taken up by toys and things. After all, whenever I go over to my sisters' homes, every nook and cranny seems to be taken up by toys or binkies or dress up clothes, etc!

Everyone has started school and I am eagerly awaiting my turn as well. I start my first class at MCC tomorrow by the author of Cardigan Empire, a blog I follow because she gives expert advice for different body types and all sorts of style advice that I am incredibly naive about. Anyway, I am really excited for that. I have dropped all 18 credits at ASU and am transferring to University of Phoenix's new English program instead. Through the online system of UOP and Ryan's discount, I will be saving thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours for the same degree. I start there in September and am excited for that. And thrilled that schooling will now allow me to get a job and earn some extra money! I am looking for any sort of bookstore/library job, so if you have any sources, do tell.

In other news, I washed all of our towels the other day and was excited for a fresh towel when I exited the shower the next morning. Much to my dismay, the towel smelled like it had been marinated in baby spit-up and old cheese for the last decade. I seriously gagged and could have fainted had Ryan not grabbed me at the last second. I started sniffing all the other hand towels, etc and they all smelled the same! None of our clothes that we've washed have ever smelled like that, so I am assuming that I must have wiped up something especially nasty before washing. I don't know how else to explain it.

Also, we had the missionary's over for dinner this week and were really excited that we were feeding the missionaries!! Just like grown-ups... :) I have only ever cooked for myself and Ryan, so I was really nervous about providing enough food for the Elders. I probably cooked three pounds of meat, but at least I knew no one would be going hungry!

Then later our new Bishopric (the Bishop of our ward/church and his two counselors) came over to meet us and do a little "get-to-know-ya". We LOVE our new ward and are very optimistic about our time here. Everyone has been so welcoming and kind, I already feel like we have friends even though we have only been twice to our new ward so far. I did make sure to tell the Bishop how much I love being in Relief Society. Ryan laughed at me while I was telling them, but I just know they are going to give me a new calling and I don't want to disappear into the nursery/primary again! But, I also know that Heavenly Father will call us where needed, so I'm prepping myself for anything.

I think I am going to clean our room spic and span and surprise Ryan when he gets home today. Whenever I clean or cook Ryan smothers me with cuddles and back rubs and kisses, so it is really good motivation.

One Year!

2009-08-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

I am so proud that I can now tell people I've been married for a year instead of a certain amount of months. The time seems to have flown by and inched along slowly as well, in a good way of course.

We celebrated our ONE year anniversary by staying at the Hyatt at Gainey Ranch which is where Ryan proposed to me. To read my version of the engagement story, go here - for Ryan's version, go here. He kept his plans a surprise until the night before. He had taken Friday off from work so that we could do whatever we wanted for the afternoon and then check into the hotel. I was SO excited because we had not been back to the Hyatt since our engagement and I was ready to be sentimental and romantic with my husband. And I'm not going to lie, I was extremely excited to eat at that restaurant again. As in, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I am obsessed with their Risotto...after my two times of ever eating it :)

Anyway, after doing random stuff we checked into the hotel. It was the nicest room I have ever stayed in which just made me feel like a princess. The bathroom was amazing, which is important because the shower is my favorite place ever. Anyway, there was a deck where we could go out and lounge as well as a little table...it was just perfect.

The Deck

Ryan surprised me by buying me this dress and adorable bright red flats to go with. I felt cute as a button because I never get new clothes and would never spend that much on a dress. So, I was totally spoiled and I LOVED it.

Then we went to the restaurant to eat a meal I couldn't stop thinking about since I ate there on May 14th when Ryan proposed. It is still the nicest restaurant I have ever been to and everything there is absolutely delicious. We had a wonderful meal where I couldn't stop exclaiming my joy that this food brought me. Simply wonderful.

Dessert was on the house because of our anniversary.
Ryan had the most amazing creme brule he has ever had.

And I had deliciously smooth gelato.

All in all, it was a wonderful dinner. We took our time walking around the resort and finding our way back to "The Bridge" and passionately told each other how much we loved each other for the millionth time that day. It was wonderful.

The next morning Ryan had booked a 60-minute massage for me at the resort there. Are you thinking that I was totally spoiled? I know, I was TOTALLY spoiled. I've never had a massage before and let me tell you, I will NEVER forget that experience. When the heavenly massage was over with, I slipped off the bed and could not wipe the biggest grin off my face. Pure ecstasy. I put my robe on and walked back to the locker room in a daze with a big lopsided grin. It was just AMAZING! Be still my heart. sigh

I met up with Ryan out by the pools where we swam around and enjoyed the warm sun. It was the best day of my life besides the day I got married. Nothing compares to being in the temple with your husband, knowing that someone with the proper Priesthood authority is there to seal you to the love of your life forever. I can trace back all of my happiness to our temple marriage.

I am especially grateful for the many blessings that Heavenly Father has bestowed on us. We were able to come back to our new home, not a crummy/ghetto apartment, where our meager furniture cannot stop the permanent echo in our home. But, it is our home, our place of refuge and peace. I am grateful for a selfless and serving husband whose true happiness come from my happiness. He is the best example to me and continually helps me be better through his loving and non judgemental ways. I am grateful for Ryan's job, where he is able to get free schooling and provide for our family. I am thankful for our health and that we are so close to our parents whom we love.

I am just grateful.

My husband...

2009-08-05T10:23:00.000-07:00

We were just hanging out in our apartment one day when Ryan randomly began talking like he was on the phone. I looked over at him...

And he had taken a paper ear piece that had come in the mail and put it on his ear.

So of course I started laughing because he is ridiculous and took a picture from the front so you can see the flimsy paper hanging from his ear.

I just want to kiss that face SO bad!

It's kinda hot..

2009-08-03T13:17:00.000-07:00

I've been outside sanding and now priming an entertainment center that was given to me by a coworker. It always amazes me how much sweat my body gives off, one big droplet at a time. I thought I would come inside and cool off between coats. And this whole sweaty thing feels pretty good. I think my body has been craving something like this. Oh, and I'll post some before and after pictures once I am finished so that all of you can oooh and ahhh for me and make me feel really good.

I was so overwhelmed with gratitude for all the responses I got on my last post! My friends and family are all filled with such great wisdom and advice, not to mention priceless experience. Since my posting I have begun to praise Ryan for all the wonderful things he does and tell him how handsome and sexy he is. It's great because he always does things for me and I think he always looks handsome, smoldering, drool-worthy, etc, so all I am doing is vocalizing these things now that I consciously realized that he needs to hear it. It has been great!

Also, a lot of people stressed the need for their man to have a hobby or some sort of outlet. A little light bulb went off in my head and while Ryan has talked about this every once in awhile, I realized it was a very serious need. The night I posted we went to the Phoenix Rock Gym because Ryan loves to go rock climbing and wants to do it more often. We both had a really good time and will probably go back this week. Then another night I encouraged him to go out with some guy friends for sushi (he loves sushi, me - not so much). It was amazing how happy and energetic he was after these little activities. And surprisingly, they made him enjoy his time with me so much more. I was very pleased with these results.

He's been under the weather for the past two weeks, taking his first sick days, so the rock gym and socializing have been put on hold. I think he is feeling much better after this weekend, so hopefully he'll be back to his much needed man activities.

I was talking to Kristina Rich about this, but I never realized that men had to be told to go do something for themselves. I figured that if Ryan wanted to go rock climbing or hang out with some buddies, he would go on and do it. Now that I know I need to be suggesting these activities, I think it will be great. Who knew? bahaha, I think Christopher Lowell says that...

Anyhow, the closing date for our home was pushed back. They changed the type of loan we were doing and after some rocky points (not our fault, but our stupid lenders) we are back on track. I'm trying not to be bitter, but our lenders were really stupid. We'll be moving Saturday where I will have a washer and dryer INSIDE my home and a dishwasher that will wash my dishes for me. Too good to be true!

In the meantime, I am in an apartment that was packed a week ago since we were supposed to be closing then. I packed our food, clothing, you name it, so things have been a little tricky. At least we're all ready for the move, but recycling clothes isn't that fun. I mean, after a while they get a little crusty. I'll let you figure out if I'm joking about this or not.

Oh...you know

2009-07-24T00:10:00.001-07:00

So I'm deciding I want to go to sleep. But of course I procrastinate that decision because I don't really want to wake up. We have been having some car problems. I took my vehicle to get the emissions tested and my car failed. Having taken it to two mechanics, the resulting repair would cost a little over $3000. Since my car is worth $4000 and we owe $3000 (due to refinancing the vehicle last year to fix a $2500 repair) repairing the car again is just not an option. We have since taken it to a guy who says he will try and get it to pass emissions, so we are waiting on that. In the meantime, I do not have a vehicle. Day after day these dreary walls have been my only company. I get so tired of looking at a partially packed apartment and numerous card board boxes. My productivity levels seem stunted since I cannot leave the apartment to run errands. And I only get to see my husband three hours every day - which is the worst of all.

My husband, Ryan, has been stressed lately. We seem to stress about different things, which is quite convenient. But I think this is the only time I have seen him really stressed. My car is in the shop, his car has numerous problems. we are closing on a house within a week, we are tight on money with buying a house, work stresses him out, and he is the sole provider for our little family. He feels a huge responsibility to make everything work out perfectly. How do you help your husband share that burden of responsibility? I am having a hard time making him feel better. I have reminded him that peace comes through prayer and a close relationship with Heavenly Father, but I don't know what else I can do.

Ryan is the type of guy that cares for everyone else but himself. Are any of you ladies in a similar situation? I don't know how to get Ryan to take care of himself. To go to bed early if he is really tired instead of staying with me. To work less hours so he is not as stressed. To make the gospel his number one priority so that he can have more peace and comfort. Another thing, which I don't know if Ryan will mind me sharing this, is that Ryan has gained some weight since we have been married. Our lifestyle drastically changed upon getting married and so instead of having a job running around being really busy, he sits in his desk all day. And instead of playing basketball with the guys, he does homework and then goes to bed. I am trying to be more healthy with my cooking, but Ryan is really down on himself for gaining the weight. He only eats salads for lunch and tries to run whenever he has time, even if it is over 100 degrees outside. So on top of being super stressed, he is down on himself for not looking as good as he would like. My only encouragement is that I want him to be healthy, which is what we are working on. Easier said than done. Especially when work and school sucks up all your time.

Anyway, I have a husband who is Mr. Grumpy Gills right now and I don't know how to comfort him or take the burden away. Any suggestions? Any similar experiences?

How do I get happy, fun-loving Ryan back?

Husband Tag

2009-07-21T18:58:00.000-07:00

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? Well, we don't have TV...so I would say nothing. He's not much of a TV watcher, that boy.

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Ranch

3. What's one food he doesn't like? This boy will eat anything. I did put together a weird salad mixture the other day that caused him to really not like Blue Cheese anymore.

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. His drink would be? Sprite, water, or lemonade.

5. Where did he go to high school? Skyline

6. What size shoe does he wear? Eleven I think...

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Sports cars. A very expensive collection.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? Goodness, we don't do sandwhiches very often...but he LOVES the Italian BMT at Subway and gets everything on it

9. What would he eat every day if he could? Subway.

10. What is his favorite cereal? Honey Bunches of Oats

11. What would he never wear? Um...anything that shows his nipples or thighs... or is overly feminine.

12. What is his favorite sports team? No idea, he's not much of a sports dude.

13. Who did he vote for? Certainly not the guy who is now ruining our country

14. Who is his best friend? Me of course!

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Be a back seat driver and tell him how to drive.

16. What is his Heritage? German...

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? As far as I know, he loves everything. But we do share a fancy for yellow cake.

18. Did he play sports in high school? No sports in high school.

19. What could he spend hours doing? Playing games, kissing me...stuff like that.

20. What is one thing you appreciate about him? ONE thing? Just one? Goodness, I really appreciate his tender and forgiving heart.

I tag Alisa, Melanie, and my cousins (who are married, of course).

Our trip to LA

2009-07-21T18:19:00.000-07:00

Truthfully, we took this trip last month but I usually neglect updating my blog about various life events. Anyway, Ryan served his mission in LA spanish speaking where Uncle Raymond was his mission president. Crazy, right? We went and visited a bunch of people and places and had a wonderful weekend. Though I would never live in LA. Ever.

This is atop a hill overlooking LA where a bunch of rich people live...

We also went to that Chinese theatre and witnessed random people, of their own choice, dressing up like movie characters to earn tips. I wonder if they earn enough money to support themselves, since this was in the middle of the day on Friday. Really random.

This is in front of the Chinese theatre place. Fun fun!

Harry Potter and his friends. Very exciting.

This was on the walk of fame. The ONLY star I took a picture of, and then a month later he dies. How ominous and forboding!!!

Ryan, posing. So cute.

We also went to the beach and visited some people that Ryan had baptized, but none of those pictures are on my camera. It was really great to see where Ryan spent two years serving the Lord. It changed him so much and made him the man that I married. I felt like I learned so much more about him, and now when I hear his stories I can picture the people and places. This trip brought us even closer together and I like knowing I was able to share a piece of his mission with him.

Coupon Sense

2009-07-16T19:51:00.000-07:00

I love Coupon Sense.

I just returned from Fry's and bought this for $9.17.

6 Betty Crocker brownie mixes for .38 each

6 Glaceau Smartwater 1 L for free
4 Arrowhead 3 L jugs for .50 each

3 Kelloggs cereal's for .50 each

3 Kraft Salad dressings for free

2 Sunny D Smoothies for free

3 tubes of Colgate whitening toothpaste for .50 each

4 mini-pizzas for .50 each (not featured)

CouponSense does not require much time. the most time consuming part is that you go to different grocery stores for different items. CouponSense does make this time effective by organizing your grocery list by store and by category so you are in and out super fast. The only clipping of coupons that takes place is when you are heading out to the grocery store. I probably spend 30 minutes a week getting everything ready, my entire grocery list, what stores I will be going to, etc. I highly recommend this to everyone. My average savings is over 50% at each store. It is great because Coupon Sense organizes all of the weekly ads and coupons in one place, so you don't have to sort through a ton of ads. Basically, it's amazing.

Today...or, tonight

2009-07-16T01:49:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is almost 2 AM. I am sitting on the bed, very much alert, while Ryan is sleeping next to me. Why am I STILL awake? Let me explain.

Two days ago I slept in until 10 AM. Yesterday I didn't go to sleep until 3 AM, so today I slept in until 5 PM. Yes, when Ryan was leaving work today, I woke up. Isn't that disgusting? I didn't hear my alarm or my phone ringing multiple times as Ryan was trying to get a hold of me. Which means I slept 14 hours without hearing a darned thing. Amazing. My roommates and family would agree that I have a hard time waking up in the morning. In fact, one morning while at BYU I woke up to find all my roommates sitting at the breakfast table waiting for me.

"Hi ladies!" I said, feeling quite chipper. They stared, I cautiously joined them at the table.
"Katie, do you know how long your alarm was going off this morning??" Kym asked me.
"Oh, um, well, I don't know. I just hear it and wake up, you know?"
"Ten minutes Katie. It was going off for ten minutes straight and you didn't even hear it!"

A very similar conversation took place at BYU-Idaho, but was accompanied by ideas to smash my alarm clock and other violent actions which just didn't suit me.

My Dad got so tired of waking me up that he would run in with a squirt bottle and spray my face. Just the memory of that makes me SO angry. It was cold water!!! It was strange because even though I didn't hear my alarm clock (believe me, we tried multiple) I would wake up right away as soon as someone entered my room. It got to the point that Devin figured out that if he would just turn the door knob to my room, I would wake up. He passed this advice on to Mark (BIL) when they moved into my parents house and apparently it works.

The final solution to the problem was Ryan. It makes sense, really. The princess has this problem and her Prince Charming is the only person who can fix it. Right??? Anyway, after our first date that was rather impromptu and introduced Ryan to my forward ways, we stayed out talking for awhile. It was late and I had to get up early the next morning and I knew I wouldn't hear my alarm clock the next morning. So I asked Ryan if he could call me at 6 AM the next morning. I could tell he was totally weirded out seeing as how we didn't even know each other, and how awkward would that be to wake some random girl up in the morning? But he did, and I totally woke up. Five days later when I convinced Ryan to officially date me, he began calling me every morning to wake me up. It was amazing, and it worked. That is, until this morning when I decided I needed to sleep for 14 hours. And yes, he has called me every week-day since we've started dating to wake me up. Isn't he amazing? I know I'm spoiled, but he thinks I'm cute, so it works out.

So here I am...awake. I very thoroughly cleaned the bathroom and mopped the kitchen, but am rather bored of the cleaning idea. I have a feeling I am in for a very long and boring night...

To Justin Bentley

2009-07-16T01:27:00.000-07:00

My best guy friend Justin Bentley is returning home from his mission today. I only wrote him two letters through email which was completely against the rules...because I was too lazy to hand write a letter. I am completely ashamed seeing as how he wrote me multiple letters and is basically a better friend then I am. I am praying that he believes in mercy and will extend that to me so we can be bosom buddies again. Because I really miss him.

So Justin, I just want you to know that I love you and really missed you while you were gone. When I got engaged to Ryan, I was so excited to have him meet you and for you to meet the man who, in all soberness, wanted to be with me forever.

I would think about you about once a week during these past two years when random memories would pop in my head. I remember going over to your house and watching you pack away your life and being really sad and empty inside. I felt bad for never watching Rocky with you, but felt that I had made up for it by watching you box with your little brothers in shorts that were always much too small. I also remember the great talks we had late at night in your car, occasionally with a Filiberto's burrito. You would just listen to me talk your ear off about my latest guy drama and then say, "Oh Katie..." and I would say, "I know!" I want you to know that I always left our talks feeling very comforted and that even though I usually did something stupid, you reminded me that I was worth having a great guy fall in love with me.

You are the funnest guy ever, besides my husband of course. You must understand that everything awesome and amazing, my husband is and will always get the trophy in every situation. But I suppose you can be equally as funny...right? I remember buying that Chip'n'Dales calendar that we were going to send to Dustin on his mission. Hehehe, or those totally inappropriate pictures you took of yourself in the shower and on your bed that you sent to your buddies on missions (Note: he wasn't naked or anything, he just had a "come hither" look and would flex his muscles, etc. Basically he enjoys making people uncomfortable, as do I.) I remember Ryan looking through pictures on my computer and finding those!!!

Even though we are the same age, I always felt like you were my big brother in a way. You always knew more than I did and seemed so much more grown up. I was envious of your "grown-up" jobs like selling vacuums to old people. And OF COURSE they liked you. Who doesn't? You were always so awesome with my brother Devin, it would warm my heart. When we would hang out Devin always had a buddy to play basketball with or admire his old-man shoes, etc. I was so thankful for that. Devin still talks about you and asked when you were coming home about a week before he left on his mission. He was hoping that he could see you before he left.

Anyway, I really love you a lot and hope that you will forgive me. I've missed you and can't wait to talk to you once your family and a certain special lady get to spend some quality time with you. I hope that we can continue to be best friends, so long as you marry a nice lady who doesn't drive me crazy.

Much love
Katie

Family

2009-07-14T11:57:00.001-07:00

These are just some pictures that we have taken of family because we love them so darn much.

We got a balloon to stick in Hannah's hair which we though was hilarious.

This is Brooklyn being very excited to blow out candles even though it isn't her birthday.

This is Brooklyn's reaction to that little detail...

I just love this little red head. If I could, I would kiss her every second of every day.

So one time Alisa was holding Hannah and she spit up, so Alisa and Mark were looking everywhere for Hannah's spit up to clean it up. Well, this is where we found it...and Natalie didn't even realize it! Hilarious!

Finding the house

2009-07-07T08:39:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who left such happy comments. Occasions like these are made so much better when friends and family get excited with you.

We had been looking for a home for about 5 months and nothing was working out. I was looking in the Gilbert area but most of the homes were far south on Pecos and I was concerned about Ryan's commute in the morning. We had put a few offers down on some short sales and did not hear anything back on any of them. We were encouraged by other friends who had bought short sales so we continued that process but we really weren't getting anywhere. We decided to go look again in Gilbert and find already foreclosed homes so that the process would be much quicker. Throughout this whole "looking" process I had this feeling to look in the Mesa area, but kept on ignoring it. Finally, I emailed our realtor the day before we were set to go out again and asked if she could look for homes in the Sossaman and Ellsworth area from Baseline to Pecos (in Mesa). She sent us the listings and I found this house on that list and was very impressed with all of the nice features. Oh, the house is on Sossaman and Baseline and yes, to all those who are looking for a home right now - I absolutely hate the process, but once you find a home, then it rocks!

That day we walked up to the house and I had this gut feeling that this was the one. We went inside and everything was so beautiful. The carpet, flooring, appliances, cabinets, and paint were all new and had never been lived in. It felt like a brand new house, with a lot of really great upgrades. The front and backyard both had grass and were landscaped, and the seller was still mowing the grass every day or so. It is a three bedroom, two bath at 1500 square feet. When we looked through the house we knew we wanted it, so our realtor called the other realtor. We found out he had already received five offers on the home, two were cash and the other two were FHA loans. He was looking for someone to do a conventional loan and make a full offer, so we went ahead and did it! He responded to us that day and signed the contract and just like that we had bought a home. The best part is that my parents live on Power and Guadalupe and Ryan's parents live on Crismon and Broadway, which means we are exactly in between our parents and are only a 5-10 minute drive away! We hang out with our families all the time, so we are very excited about this.

Since then, we have gone almost every day to go and look at it. We can hardly wait for a beautiful dishwasher and a washer and dryer in our very own home! This means I don't have to hand wash every single dish or walk around the apartment to wash my clothes! We are also realizing how much money it takes to buy a home, but are thankful that we can afford it. It is going to take us a long time to furnish everything, but we are SO excited to be in a home that nothing can get us down!

Home Sweet Home

2009-06-27T23:28:00.001-07:00

Just when we thought it was never going to happen...

But Heavenly Father directed us to this very perfect house that had our name on it.

I don't think I have ever been so excited...except when I got married of course.

The exciting story is soon to follow, just not when it is really late and I have to get up early tomorrow.

Closing date is July 27th!!

Oh yes

2009-06-16T13:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is my last one, promise. Lisa McMann is writing a great series, two of which are out right now. The first one is Wake and the second is Fade. I really enjoyed these books, but the writing was a little more...harsh? adult? real? I'm not sure. There is language in this series, more than the other series I have recommended. The characters in this novel are poor and live in the ghetto part of town, so I think McMann is trying to make her characters more authentic by using language that they would most likely use. Now, it wasn't in every sentence, but there was probably a bad word every three pages or so if I were to average it out.

Now, the series is about a 17-year old named Janie who is sucked into other peoples dreams. She has no control over it and can't tell anyone about it because people would think she was a freak. There is a brooding guy in the novel that makes my heart pitter-patter, and I'm sure you'll like him too. This series is interesting because it deals with characters who have issues, come from dysfunctional families, and have had hard lives. What I like about McMann is that she writes about these characters who are smart and place an importance on education. I think this is a great message for anyone who feels like they are against the world that they can and will succeed if they try. I love great messages.

Anyway, I really liked these books. The next book will be out February 2010.

New series

2009-06-16T13:47:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr and really enjoyed it. I'm not sure why the supernatural stuff is all the rage, but good books are coming out of it. This one deals with faeries, and not cute little sparkly ones either. These faeries are powerful and dangerous, and for some reason Aislinn can see them when other humans cannot. There is a great romance in this book that is clean, and I don't recall language being an issue. Then again, I am a quick reader...so if something comes up, sorry. This is the first in a series, and the next one came out this year. I am still waiting for it at the library, but I am sure it will be just as good as the first.

And thanks to Kristina Rich, for making this all possible :)

More books!

2009-06-16T13:29:00.000-07:00

I know this is all I have been posting about recently...but when I get excited about something, I just have to share it with everyone!

These are the first two books of the Evernight series by Claudia Gray - and I loved them. They deal with vampires and I actually like them better than the Twilight series...but that is my personal opinion. These are the first two in a series of four and I simply cannot wait for the next one to come out! Let me share why I like these books more than the Twilight series...

The romance in the book is not obsessive. You don't read every other page about how beautiful the guy is, and how she is not worthy of his love.
The main character, Bianca, is more likeable. She doesn't whine about how she might be putting other peoples lives in danger and just doesn't whine like Bella always does. I actually relate to her more than I ever did with Bella.
I like the plot conflict much more in this book. It isn't just between a mortal and a vampire, but something much more serious.
I like the "rules" that the vampires live by in this book better than Twilight.

Just my personal opinion, but hey, it's my blog! I hope you guys like these. As always, let me known if you like them!

Extras

2009-05-29T15:02:00.000-07:00

Mmm, not that great. I plan on buying the Uglies trilogy, but not this companion novel. It is random and the plot is boring. Sorry folks.

UGLIES trilogy

2009-05-27T13:29:00.000-07:00

Oh dear goodness, I stumbled on this amazing series on accident and will never be the same again. Scott Westerfeld creates a futuristic society that changes regular people (Uglies) into perfectly beautiful people (Pretties) when they turn 16. Once you are turned into a Pretty, your life is spent having fun and going to parties. Sounds perfect, right? The main character, Tally, who is 15 when the series begins finds out that more is changed than physical appearance when you turn 16. Such a great series! A new book that continues with the trilogy is called Extras which I have from the library but haven't started reading yet. There is hardly any swearing, no sex, and nothing gory. Just a lot of action and adventure and a convincing futuristic society. I am totally going to buy this series to have for my own collection.

how to know that you are loved

2009-05-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

He loves to hold your hand and holds it every chance he gets - even when it's for three seconds
He calls you two to three times during the day to see how things are going and to share his day with you
He emails you every day even though he hates writing because he knows how much you love it
You are showered with kisses every morning before he leaves for work
He still gets butterflies when he sees you
Every day he reminds you how beautiful you are, which catches you off guard because its usually when you are eating, not wearing make-up, or going to the bathroom.
He still surprises you with roses and candle-lit dinners
He works 10 to 12 hour days to provide for you so that all of your needs are met
He watches chick-flicks, goes clothes shopping, and will talk for hours so that you have your best girl-friend and husband all in one
He cleans the dishes and cooks the meals 80% of the time even though you never ask
He buys you chocolates at random times because he knows how much you love it
He never talks down to you or makes you feel inadequate
He makes you feel like you can do anything and that you are an amazing person
He loves your quirks and never gets aggravated enough that he would start an argument over them (I am SO lucky on this one)
He tells you how much he loves you multiple times a day because he feels like he can never say it enough
He lets you do whatever you want with you hair and makes you feel great no matter what you decide to do with it
He gives you cuddle/pillow talk time
He doesn't do anything that will make you feel awkward or uncomfortable
He makes you laugh until you scream with the anxiety of possibly peeing your pants
He plays games with you and feels bad for winning
He still slow dances with you in the middle of your messy one-bedroom apartment
He makes all of your dreams come alive and become a reality
He is buddies with your family and loves being with them
He takes you on date nights and still thinks of creative ideas
When you are cranky he lets you go back to sleep, no matter what time it is
He is unconditionally forgiving
He'll wake up in the middle of the night to talk
He doesn't worry about looking/being stupid so you don't have to worry about looking or being stupid
He cleans out and washes your car because he knows you won't do it
You know that he would love you the same even if you became physically disfigured by some type of accident
He looks at your scrapbook pages like they are pieces of art
He always asks what your books are about and attentively listens even though you describe the book in great detail and take a good 30 minutes to do so
He'll do anything to make you happy

Janette Rallison

2009-05-21T12:09:00.001-07:00

My interest in Janette Rallison's books began after she was my Sunday School teacher in our home ward. She wrote some great books that were sold in Deseret Book but has now branched out to general YA fiction and has some great reads.

They are young adult novels and tailored for girls in their teens, but I found them to be fun and entertaining reads. Rallison can usually make me laugh out loud in her novels and they always leave me feeling happy and optimistic. She is an author I will always read. And - she's already sold over 600,000 books so far!

I will say that her older books are my favorite though. I felt like they had more depth and a unique plot with characters that were very easy to relate to. Her newer books (those shown above) are more about girls and their crushes/boyfriends while her older books penned Sierra St. James deal with more complex issues. These are my long lasting favorites - and don't be fooled by the covers!

Spring Semester is OVER!

2009-05-21T11:50:00.000-07:00

Well, it actually ended Wednesday the 13th, but I am still recovering. I ended up with four A's and one B, so I am luckily able to start my GPA at ASU nice and strong. Already there is a clear difference when I am doing classes dealing with my English major as opposed to those Geology classes I had to take early on in my academic career. Blech.

I am trying to soak up this time with no homework as best I can. Starting June 1st I am taking 10 credits, and then July 1st I am taking another 10 credits. Twenty credits ain't bad for one summer, but it will leave me with no time to do anything but homework. This is why Ryan is letting me quit my insurance job as of May 29th so I can just do school full time. I have never been more excited to quit a job before. Let's just say that when four women are in an office together all day five days a week, there tends to be drama. I hate drama, especially with old ladies. We just don't understand each other...

And I'm sorry if my talk of school bores you - but it is my life for the next year!

Hunger Games

2009-05-21T11:35:00.001-07:00

Oh, this book is delicious. The plot is a little morbid but the story is written so well that it is believable and so worth the read. In fact, I am getting this book on audio for Ryan so he can read it too.

Here is the synopsis:

In the ruins of a place once known as North America lies the nation of Panem, a shining Capitol surrounded by twelve outlying districts. The Capitol is harsh and cruel and keeps the districts in line by forcing them all to send one boy and one girl between the ages of twelve and eighteen to participate in the annual Hunger Games, a fight to the death on live TV. Sixteen-year-old Katniss Everdeen, who lives alone with her mother and younger sister, regards it as a death sentence when she is forced to represent her district in the Games. But Katniss has been close to dead before-and survival.

The next book is coming out in September 2009 and I am SO there. There are no sexual references and no profanity that I can recall. If there is any, I would consider it mild. Yes, there is violence since they are fighting to the death, but I didn't feel that it was very gory. The author does not dwell on the death and how it happens, but rather on who is living and how they will survive. Really, a great book! Maybe my favorite.

The Luxe Series

2009-05-21T11:13:00.000-07:00

If you are one for drama, romance, and the finer things in life then you will love this series. These are the first three that are available right now, but the 4th book, Splendor, will hopefully come out soon!

These books are so fun. I would DIE if I could own just one of these dresses... There are a few allusions to sexual indiscretions but but no detail is given about the deed - you just know it happened. I don't believe there is any swearing either...not that I can remember. Anyway, you must read them because you will love them.

Books

2009-05-13T16:51:00.000-07:00

I am obsessed.

I blame Kristina Rich for getting me suffocatingly involved in them - I thought my days of staying up past midnight to read a book were behind me. Stay tuned, I have some great books to recommend.

Oh happiness!!

Tuition

2009-04-27T11:10:00.000-07:00

I tried to prepare myself. I looked up previous summer semester tuition to get an idea of how much I would have to bust out of the bank account. "Around $2000," I told Ryan. Imagine my surprise when the cashier office asks for $4710.00. Wait a second...my Spring tuition was $2800....how can this be? And this doesn't even include the $500 I just gave to MCC.

Well, Summer is a special privilege, so if you really want to get ahead and get the extra credits, you need to be willing to pay. I have decided that once I graduate I am going to calculate how much my college education cost, and keep track of my earnings so that I will know when I break even. Then everything after that will be me enjoying the fruits of my labor.

In the meantime, Top Ramen anyone?

THE bird

2009-04-24T11:21:00.001-07:00

Hark! I need your help, and I need it desperately. Let me explain my situation...

Outside of our apartment there is an orange tree, and in this orange tree there is a bird, and this bird - well, it is no ordinary bird. I first heard it one evening when I was getting ready for bed, at night, and thought it was quite strange that a bird was chirping at such a late hour. It soon stopped and I quickly forgot the matter.

Another evening, I head this fair-feathered friend singing yet again, though it was 10:00 PM. Strange, thought I, then continued on with my homework and the chirping soon ceased.

THEN, yet another evening, I am all ready for bed and hear this bird again. I am shocked at how loud it is, so loud that it sounds like the bird is in our bedroom. Even more peculiar, the bird sounds like 20 different birds. First he gives off a "chirp chirp" then a "squak squak" then a "meep meep", etc. Only two of each type of "chirp" before switching to another one. Soon, very soon, this got annoying. It was so loud and everything else was so silent that it was the only sound I could hear, and of course I couldn't stop thinking about it. I got up and smacked our sliding glass door to get it to shut up. Nothing. I turned on the light (Ryan was out cold) and opened our curtain so the light would shine on the bird and hopefully startle it. Was it really a bird??

I was frustrated. I was angry. I was tired, annoyed and thoroughly put-out. Letting an exasperated cry escape my throat, Ryan finally awakens and asks me what in tarnation is going on. "This bird, Ryan! I open the blinds and point out into the dark. "This bird won't shut up! And it's so loud I can't sleep! I've tried everything!!!"

"Oh honey, come lay down. It will stop soon and you'll probably just fall asleep."

Another, more angry cry, and I throw on some pajama pants and a top and Ryan's shoes that are on the floor and stomp outside. I bring my cell phone to hopefully shed some light up in the tree so I can see this germ-infested fiend that has made my life miserable. I arrive at the tree and its chirping is SO loud that I try to cover my ears. I point my cell phone towards the tree and realize I was ridiculous to think it would help me see 5 feet into the dark abyss of leaves.

Then a thought comes to mind: is there a device that is used by bird-lovers that makes all of the different bird calls in order to bring more birds to the tree in their yard? I mean, this bird was the loudest bird I had ever heard in my life, it didn't stop for anything, and was not startled by my angry stomping to the tree.

Again I try to peer into the darkness, but no success. I stomped back to our room and was so tired and cross that I thought I would start eating my sheets in madness. "Ryan, I don't know what to do! I am so tired." I explain my theory of some sort of battery operated bird call that could have been placed in our tree.

Thinking it over, he says, "Naw." Then he gets up, walks to the sliding door, and pounds it just like I did. It stopped. Suddenly. In its place there was silence. We both just stood there. "See?" Ryan says. I didn't know what to do, I was beside myself. Should I jump for joy or burst into tears? I think I just collapsed onto the bed.

After this episode, I hear the chirping late at night as I am finishing up homework or getting ready for bed. It always stops before I am actually trying to sleep, so I haven't gotten all worked up again. But - my questions is, what is this bird??? Is there a bird that is active during the night, that makes every single bird call, and is incredibly loud?? Or could it be some device to attract other birds, but has been accidentally "set" to go off at night instead of in the morning?

Please, I need your help.

Oh dear goodness

2009-04-24T11:05:00.001-07:00

These last two weeks (meaning this week and the next) I have FIVE research papers due, all between 6-9 pages. There is only so much a girl can do. Only so much!

Good news, I got my second paper back in class today that I had turned in a few weeks ago. At the beginning of the semester she had us write a small paper, which I didn't take very seriously. I find it hard to put effort into things I honestly don't care about. I'm an "all or nothing" kind of person. Well, I got that small paper back as a B-, which made me kind of nervous since she said she graded them easy. So this next paper I put my heart and soul into, knowing that I didn't want to get anything lower than a B for a paper that was worth 20% of my grade. This paper I got back today and when she handed it to me she gave me a , "Very well done Katherine." Whoo! And this is what she wrote:

"You have a clearly defined and provocative thesis, and the textual evidence you pull from the poems is relevant and supportive of your overarching argument. Furthermore, the writing is clean, you use strong academic diction, and you stick to the "road map" you provide in you thesis statement as you build your argument. This is a piece to be proud of, Katherine, and I look forward to reading your last essay. A"

Yee-HAW! Nothing in the world feels better then getting a paper back that you spent hours on and receive praise for your efforts. I am going to frame this and do a little dance whenever I see it. I didn't know college was going to be so hard, and that I would have to make so many sacrifices, but this has made the effort worthwhile.

ON THE OTHER HAND--

Yes, there is another hand. I am also taking two classes at MCC, one being darn Geology so I can finish my natural science. Well, this class is ridiculously easy with a quiz every week worth 20 points. No papers, no midterm, no final, just a quiz every week. Unfortunately, because I am taking five other classes and working, I have forgotten to take three of these quizzes. I only realized this morning that I had forgotten to take the quiz that ended last night, which brought my grade down to a 67%. There are only TWO quizzes left, and I must get a C to pass this class. I burst into tears. There is no frustration that compares to that of having a D at the end of the semester simply because you forgot to take a 20 point quiz. I just want a C folks, am I asking too much? The GPA does not transfer to ASU, so I just need to pass this darn class and move on with my life.

So, I wrote my teacher an email. It was very well-written, if I say so myself, and asked quite literally for him to be merciful with this situation, and that I would do anything to make up those few points to pass the class. We shall see. I'll keep you posted. For now, I feel like huddling in a dark corner and holding myself until I fall asleep.

Mixed Feelings

2009-04-15T14:27:00.000-07:00

So I just got off the phone with Ryan where he told me some very exciting news. He has been selected to attend a leadership conference where they will fly him out to Nashville for a few days. This is very exciting because only the best of the best get to go to these type of things and I feel that Ryan deserves recognition for his hard work. I am very proud of him.

So he tells me this and, I'm so embarrassed to say, my first thought was, "I'll be all alone!" Tears welled up in my eyes and spilled over as I thought about coming home from work alone, eating alone, falling asleep alone. You get the idea. I was frustrated that I started blubbering over the phone which made Ryan feel guilty for thinking about going, instead of cheering and telling him how proud I was. We've never been apart since we started dating. Ryan listened as I shared my concerns and then I was able to tell him that indeed, he should go and that absolutely yes, I was very proud of him.

Every day when we come home from work/school, Ryan is there to give me a huge hug and kiss that evolves into a soothing back rub while we tell each other we loved and missed each other. Seriously, the other day I was thinking about our relationship and realized that any person who lives with us day-to-day would be sick of our "I love you's", hugs, kisses, teasing, baby talk, etc within the first half hour. I know. I hate baby talk. I mean, I used to hate it until I was married to Ryan and it kind of developed while we searched for our own loving language to use with each other. It made me feel better when I learned in my English in its Social Setting class that intimate partners generally develop some sort of communication like baby talk.

Anyway, then what about dinner? I make dinner to make Ryan happy. I consider food a nuisance and have never been a food lover. Candy? Now candy is different. Anyway, Ryan loves anything I make him and makes me feel like a domestic goddess, even though I rotate the same four dishes...tee hee. And actually, at least half the time Ryan takes over and finishes cooking because he loves to cook. So what do I do when he's gone? Ramen?

The Evening. I love our evenings. Whenever something comes to my mind, my best friend is right there to hear about it. We are a great team and enjoy anything we get to do together, including homework. My favorite part of the day is bed time, in a completely non-sexual way. When it's time for bed, we get to turn off all the lights in the apartment and go in the bedroom to get in our PJ's, wash faces, brush teeth, floss every once in awhile. Then we read the scriptures together and pray which always makes you feel more happy. Afterwards we get to fall asleep cuddling, which I absolutely LOVE. I've also found that I love falling asleep holding hands. It's almost like I have this need to just be touching him while I fall asleep, even it its my leg brushing against his.

So, I'm keeping my chin up despite the lurking sadness I feel. I mean, he's not even gone yet! And when he comes home I want to be able to be really happy for him.

Written in the Stars

2009-03-13T13:39:00.000-07:00

So, my fate was given to me today in a PF Changs fortune cookie. It reads:

"You are a lover of words, someday you should write a book."

Now don't go bursting my bubble and tell me you get this fortune every time you go to Changs. Don't you dare. Now, I've always known I wanted to write a book. So far twelve people have signed up to "follow" my blog and by doing so, have promised to buy my first book. Well, that's what I say to make myself feel like I have a following before I even produce a thing to follow. Anyway, I already know the title of my book, and most of the chapters. All that is left is the writing part. Tricky... It takes time, you know? I mean, I hardly write on my blog anymore because time to write is not a luxury I have. And I've been thinking about my book an awful lot lately. I just need to do this.

Mmhmmm

2009-02-25T10:00:00.000-08:00

I am really happy right now. Probably because I have been reading everyone's blogs and they make me really happy. It is probably ridiculous how much I love blogs, but I don't particularly care. It gives me an opportunity to have a glimpse into other people's lives and I learn SO much from them. I've also realized I admire everyone because every person is so unique and can teach me how to be a better person. Yup, I'm happy!

So I didn't write about Valentine's Day. I always forget about that blessed holiday, but it really is my favorite. Well, only since I've been married. And because it is the perfect day to wear red undies from your bridal shower. I will admit, it irks my nerves a little bit when I hear excuses about why people don't like Valentine's Day.

Example: It is stupid to have one day out of the entire year where you are supposed to show how much you love someone.

This statement would be true, if that is what Valentine's Day really was supposed to be. I sure hope you don't show your lovin' one day out of the year! If so, that is your fault. And Valentine's Day isn't the day where you are somehow supposed to sum up your love into expensive objects and outrageously exotic plans. Rather, it is a day about love, for love, and TO love. Just love, okay people?

Anyway, Valentine's Day is about love. Primarily and most obviously, romantic love. And everyone KNOWS what a romantic I am! Woo woo! But, for those of us who don't have a special someone (we have ALL been there) it is also a day to let those special people in your life know that you love them too. And no, I am not turning into Delilah. Seriously, give your mom and baggie of Dove chocolates, or your sister a cute shirt, etc. Just share the LOVE!!!

Valentine's day was bomb for me. It was the first in our blissful marriage, and also marked our six-month anniversary. How convenient, right? I started about a month before Valentine's Day to ensure it was a great day. I started with subtle hints. Ryan and I are sitting down doing homework. I turn to him and say, "Ryan, do you know what I just love? See's chocolates. Yum yum! My favorites would probably have to be any with caramel and marshmallow, mint, and coconut. Simply pure bliss!" And I swooned as I carried on about my favorite chocolates.

Now, I wasn't sure at how good Ryan is at taking hints, so to make sure I was eating my favorite chocolates on Saturday the 14th, I sent him an email while he was at work on Friday with a picture of See's chocolates with the caption, "These look so yummy!" to which he replied, "They sure do look delicious." to which I replied, "...and romantic!" Apparently he was insulted at my very obvious hints, but a woman has to do whatever she needs to do to get the goods, right?

Anyway, the morning of Valentine's Day came. I awoke in the arms of my One True Love and decided that life was perfect. I think my favorite thing about Saturday's is that I get to wake up with Ryan and we get to cuddle first thing in the morning and talk. Anyway, he went and got my "surprises" while I waited in bed. He returned with two boxes, neither of which were wrapped in See's traditional wrapping. Red flag. Sirens. Blacking out. But wait, there are two boxes here. For referring two employees to University of Phoenix, Ryan got to pick out some things out of a catalog and decided to pick out some pretty silver jewelry for me. I thought that was very sweet, because I love getting jewelry from him. So of course I loved the delicate heart necklace and intricate earrings and told him so. Then he pulled out my box of See's from his pants! I know that sounds scandalous, but they were sitting in the back of his pants so I wouldn't see the box when he came in. Needless to say, I was pleased. This was my first time getting See's chocolates from a man and I was going to enjoy it. We sampled all of them right then and there.

Because we are both taking 18 credit hours, we spent the rest of the morning and afternoon doing homework. It was a blast...whoooo o ooo. I had asked to be in charge of dinner on V-day, so I headed out about 4 pm to gather all of his favorite foods into a picnic basket. This was a recreation of one of our dates, which is where I won this man's heart. He told me it was the sweetest thing any girl had done for him, and I knew how much it meant to him, so I took him to the same place with the same foods, and it was romantic. Romance. Oh how I love it!!!

In the meantime, I had been working on a small and inexpensive V-day gift for him. Someone had given me a small heart-shaped box for V-day with Russell Stovers (blech). I threw out the chocolates and put my own cute paper on the outside of the box. Then I had a bunch of romantic scrapbook rub-ons that I rubbed onto the inside of the box and then filled with peanut butter M&M's. I surprised him with this little homemade nicknack which was really fun, and he was all excited to eat peanut butter candy.

Last on our list was a visit to the Hale Center Theater, which was SO much fun. Every time I leave I always say it was the best one I have ever seen, how amazing it is, blah blah blah, but it is a little bit too expensive for Ryan and I to go to the shows more often. Needless to say, it was a wonderful treat and made me very happy.

Three cheers for LOVE!!!

Yippity-doo

2009-02-04T18:51:00.001-08:00

I am now, finally, an official student of ASU. After roaming the world and three other college campuses...I am finally HERE. Wow, it's great. Let me tell you just how great it is.

1. First, I walk by a preacher who is yelling at the top of his lungs by the MU (where kids eat lunch and be social). In fact, he is yelling so loud that a vein in his neck and on his bald head are sticking out and catch my attention. I just want to poke his veins. But then I notice he is yelling and holding a bible in his hand. He is telling me that I love my pornography and that I am a bad person.

2. I walk by a girl who hands me a condom and tells me to protect myself. I was very touched.

3. I endured the graphic posters of the anti-abortion group on campus. If that isn't enough to make you feel guilty about abortions, I don't know what is. The posters were about 20 feet tall and contained all sorts of pictures of dead babies. I stopped eating my Cheez-its at that point.

4. I get to listen to conversations all day about how someone got SO wasted last night that they were barfing all over themselves and tried to do a cartwheel but busted their knee instead. If one thing can be said about the average ASU student, it would probably be "wasted".

Really, I could go on. In all honesty, I really love going to ASU. Never before have I really been in the LDS minority on a college campus. I am actually excited to be the only girl wearing clothes during the summer months and not use profanity. This is an opportunity for me, and an excellent learning experience.

Books

2009-01-31T21:17:00.000-08:00

So I don't know if y'all noticed or not, but I've started adding the books I've been reading since the beginning of January to my blog. Not that anyone cares, but if you did, I would like to tell you about some of the books.

House of Sand and Fog - possibly the WORST book I have ever read. It saddens me because I remember working at a bookstore and a customer told me it was the best book they have ever read. So I bought the book. And a year and a half later I read it and it was so bad. Rarely do I not enjoy books, so you've got to know this is a stinker.

The Marriage of Heaven and Hell - didn't understand it. This rarely happens, so I've been having a mini panic attack. I have plans to talk to the professor next week about this, because it was random and didn't make sense at all.

The Time Travelers Wife - my new favorite book of all time. I would not, however, recommend this book to my sisters or anyone at all really. Yes, I am experiencing great inner conflict with this book. It was amazing, my new favorite, made my heart soar with happiness and sob in agony...BUT the F-word is used quite a bit. It is used very literally about the intimate relations of a husband and wife, but why in the world was that specific word used? I don't know, but it was disheartening. The author is amazing at developing the characters and allowing the reader to fall in love with them. It is also a beautiful story because it is about a husband and wife who love each other very much. Wow, it was great. It was real. But there was enough frustrating content within the book that I began to wonder if I really should have been reading it. Books are a personal decision, so go soul search and do what you will.

Beowulf - SO much better than the movie. I had gone to see the movie in the theatres right when it came out and hadn't heard a thing about it. Little did I know that Angelina Jolie would basically be naked for half of the movie, and that it would be filled with infidelity and other inappropriate things that were not necessary. I was very surprised to find that the actual poem was nothing like the movie. I loved it. Really. A pleasant surprise.

Sickness

2009-01-29T22:13:00.001-08:00

It's embarrasing to say that before I fell upon these recent illnesses, I was boasting almost daily to my colleagues and family that I have an AMAZING immune system. Really. I can remember being sick about five times in my entire life. I was consistently gone from school, but only because I was good at faking sick and my mom couldn't resist my moans of agony.

This sicknes thing started with a fever that was kind of exciting, because I was sick. Ryan and I had been married five months and I was starting to think that we were above the World of Germs. Then one day when I was driving home from school/work I started to feel aches and kinda clammy...and I knew. I came home and told Ryan that I was sick. He was like, "Yah babe. Mmhmm" and made tender clucking noises while I told him about my being sick. This was monumental. I was sick for the first time in our marriage. How would he act? Couldn't he see I was SICK? Yes, I was disappointed that he didn't carry me to bed and stroke my forehead while "loo-looing" me to sleep. But that was alright, I would show him. I kept my chin up and carried on as though nothing was wrong.

After dinner I was feeling worse and told him I needed to go to bed because I was SICK. My body was NOT WELL. This tabernacle of flesh in which my soul resides was FIGHTING the illness that was RAVAGING my body. "Yes, you should probably get some sleep." He agreed while typing away on the computer. I looked at him....then shuffled off to our room. I laid there for awhile and could feel my body get really hot. You know how you can feel it happen? So cool, but icky. Later Ryan joined me and we both fell asleep.

I woke up. What was wrong? Oh yeah, I was SICK. This time I was really not feeling well. I turned to Ryan and told him I felt hot. He touched my body (I love being married!!!!) and sat up fully alert. "You're really hot!" Then he was touching me all around my face, back, and tummy. "Oh babe, you're really hot. I think you have a fever." Mmhmm. I was loving this. Until we both realized that we didn't know what to do when one has a fever. A wet washcloth perhaps? All I knew was that the stroking of the forehead seemed essential in every movie I had ever seen. Ryan called his parents where they told us that we should probably check my temperature, I needed to drink a lot of fluids, and probably take a fever reducer like Ibuprofen. Ryan hung up and threw on some clothes, gave me Ibuprofen, and announced that he was going to Walmart to get a thermometer to take care of me. It was really sweet though. Exactly like I had imagined. He ran to the bedside before he left, taking my hand in his... Gently kissing it, he stroked my cheek before saying, "I'm going to take care of you. I'll be right back."

I woke up to Ryan bustling in with a few bags of groceries. Come to find out later, he had bought all of my favorite juices and flavored water (I don't like regular water), soups for me to eat the next day, and the trusty thermometer. By the time he got home I could tell the fever broke and was feeling much better. He took my temperature and then got a washcloth and put it over my forehead. Then he laid next to me and held my hand until we fell asleep.

I think the sweetest thing about this whole thing is that Ryan did this between 1:00 AM - 2:30 AM in the morning when he had to be up at 4:30 AM for work. I know, I'm really lucky. And now I know that Ryan is A+ in the category of Nursing Back to Health.

Next thing I know I'm coughing like a person does when they are sick and cough a lot. (I couldn't resist that sentence). I went to the Doctor after a few days when the cough didn't go away with cough medicine. Actually, it was Urgent Care because it was Saturday and my illness was getting progressively worse. I gave the Doc my symptoms and he told me I had a virus in my entire respiratory system. My lungs (I was coughing up phlegm), throat, nasal congestion, and swollen ear tube thingies. Because it was a virus, there isn't anything to treat the darn thing. He gave me a cough suppressent, something to break up the mucus in my lungs, and an antibiotic to prevent this from turning into pnemonia and other fun stuff like that. It was fun, I'll tell ya, staying up most of the night to cough and then spit out phlegm. Yum.

Then. THEN. It started hurting really bad when I went to the bathroom. Number One mind you. I have had a bladder infection before, but it hadn't hurt like this. It was so painful that during my classes I couldn't focus on the lecture. I would just hold my lower abdomen and try to discreetly wince (it did help that we were discussing battle scenes in lecture. my professor thinks I'm really into it) before I would run off to the bathroom again. Then. THEN. I notice that my urine is pink. I have not eaten beets in quite some time, so I had to conclude that it was blood. And it was painful blood. I like to describe it as peeing out knives. I go to the Doc today who can't find a trace of blood or infection. So, she thinks I passed a really small kidney stone. Personally, I don't agree. I think when one passes a kidney stone, they kinda KNOW that it's happening. Anyway, I went for a CT scan so they could check out if there were any stones kiding behind my kidney's or something. I'll keep you posted.

Anyway, that's all. I know this was random, and uninteresting, but I felt compelled to write about it. And I also realized that I delight writing in fragmented sentences and improper sentence structures. Something about the English major inside of me just makes me want to do it.

Male and Female Anatomy: Viewer Discretion Advised

2009-01-27T19:32:00.000-08:00

Last semester I took a Marriage and Family class, seeing as how I was getting married and all. I realized that this is probably a different experience taking the class at MCC or ASU then taking the class at BYU. I don't remember a thing from that class, except for what I am about to show you.

One of our assignments was to make a visual aid of the male and female anatomy. I was a little puzzled as to how I was going to do this since it was an online class. I couldn't make a poster board and send it online, now could I? I decided that I would sculpt the anatomy with Crayola clay and take pictures of it, then send them via email. I will be honest and say that sculpting the sexual anatomy can be awkward, but it's way easier to do after you're married. So I hope you enjoy the artwork because every time I see it I bust up laughing. Really really hard. And since I'm sick right now I end up coughing.

Good Ideas

2009-01-22T14:49:00.000-08:00

So I was blog searching and found a blog where the person made a list of the books that they read throughout the year. I thought that was a splendid idea, so I am going to do my own list for the year 2009. Kinda exciting, no?

I also read an idea about taking one picture a day, not only to hone (is that even a word?) photography skills but to keep a daily diary. I thought that was a really great idea, but my camera is really old and makes me cringe when I see the photos that come from it. But I figured one of you might like that idea.

Does anyone else have any good ideas?

My Kind of Writing

2009-01-22T14:13:00.000-08:00

I had to share because I think it is too darn funny.

Subject: BEST CRAIGSLIST ADD EVER!
NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County)
Reply to: mailto:sale-935623801@craigslist.org?subject=NINJA%20HAULER:%202005%20Nissan%20Xterra%20-%20$12900%20(Ronan%20/%20Lake%20County) [?]Date: 2008-11-26, 5:55PM MST

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants. Rock on.

depoconnor@gmail.com

Location: Ronan / Lake County
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 935623801

BookMooch

2009-01-16T13:12:00.001-08:00

Love it. I just mailed off nine different books to all areas of the country. Apparently the books I have on hand are in high demand (check out the alliteration people!) in the "reading" world. Whatever it is, I felt ridiculously proud as I mailed off my precious novels. It is a little sad, but I figure that it is better for a book to be read then sit on my book shelf gathering dust. Plus Ryan has hinted that we would have a ton more room without three full-size bookshelves.

I got my books from ASU and am stoked. I still can't get over that I get to take my favorite classes for my major. I always anticipated a boring school career, but it has never ceased to be enjoyable and enlightening, as well as hard. It's crazy to think that someday...in the future...sometime...I'll be finished!

The Beginning and The End

2009-01-11T22:07:00.000-08:00

The past few months have been interesting for me. In November I was able to watch Hannah be born with Alisa's permission and witnessed the start of someone's life. It was an amazing experience that has left me quite speechless, and when people ask me what I think about it, I really have nothing to say. I would like to share the experience, so I am. Right now.

Ryan woke me up after getting a phone call from Mark (BIL) that Alisa was experiencing hard labor and that Hannah was on her way. I threw some clothes on and rushed to the hospital. I went into the room to find Alisa in a lot of pain. Mark was rubbing her back and coaching her through the process. Alisa had been reading about some sort of hypno birth, or something like that where you let your body naturally deliver the baby. She had mentioned a great deal about how birth really should be painless, so I was confused about seeing this woman in a lot of pain. I reminded her upon my arrival that "It really doesn't hurt, remember?" but realized this was not the time or place. I hung around for an hour or two as she was getting these contractions and suddenly it was getting serious.

I had expected the labor scene to be like it was in the movies, filled with nurses and lights and doctors. In actuality, it was only like that at the very end when the head was popping out, so even though Alisa was laboring this child down the birth canal, it didn't feel like it was happening because the environment was so calm and seemingly casual. The doctor came in and after evaluating the situation, directed Alisa to push as soon as she felt the need. The lights came on and the nurses flooded in. They were preparing a little incubator baby-thing for when Hannah arrived, which was just crazy because at the moment she was still in a uterus. Whack!

I positioned myself behind the doctor so I could get a good view becuase I really wanted to see this. Some people, maybe a lot of people, might find this gross. I've found that the female anatomy is the same with every single woman, so no suprises there. I'm also a person that's never really been shy with the human body. When we were growing up, I didn't mind running to my room without a towel or being less-then-modest when my brother wasn't around. It bugged my sisters to NO end because they are ultra modest but I figure our bodies are basically the same, right? That was a little bit of personal information, but I was just explaining where I was coming from as far as personal space, privacy, and a naked human body.

Alisa was pushed twice and it didn't look like anything was happening, but everyone was excited so let's assume there was a lot of progress. She was in a lot of pain and yelling really loud. I remember thinking to myself, "I don't want to go through this. Ever." Finally the head popped out. It was just her head, all squashed and swollen with huge red lips and closed eyes. Then the doctor slipped one shoulder out and the rest of the baby just fell right on out like, well, like a baby does when it comes out. She didn't even cry. They just took her and cleaned her off (rather roughly, if I daresay) and made sure everything was working correctly. I looked over at Alisa and she just looked SO relieved at having pushed this piece of flesh out of her body. I could just see her body so tired and so worn out after the ordeal. She had been yelling loudly, and there was a lot of blood. Again, it didn't bother me.

After the baby was out and Alisa had a half hour or so to recover, she was back to just hanging in the hospital. She was talking and laughing and carrying on as though nothing had happened. It baffled me. Just moments ago she was in the most intense pain of her life, and now everything was fine!

I remember driving home and just thinking. That was really intense. Alisa went through a lot of work and pain to pop that baby out. I really admire her for doing what she feels is best for her and her family. Melanie and I talk about how one of us is going to have to do natural birth or Alisa will always be able to hold it against us. I mean, we can't have her be the only one with enough guts to go through child labor while billions of women did it multiple times (back in the day) because there wasn't any birth control and they didn't have any pain reliever. We'll see what happens. Melanie is due in June, so we'll see. Anyway, it was an intense and amazing experience.

Then, just today, I saw the end of our life story. Ryan's grandpa has been ill and in the hospital for a little while now. A couple days ago they made the decision to being him home so he could die in peace and comfort without the poking and prodding. He enjoyed a few of his favorite meals that he wasn't allowed to have in the hospital and talk with his children and grandchildren for the last few times. Today we went over around 4:00 PM because he wasn't doing too well, so we went to say our last goodbye's. He was in a deep sleep and breathing very infrequently. It was so tender and heartbreaking to see Grandma by his side, holding his hand and telling him how very much she loved him. They had been married 67 years, and their wedding anniversary had been the night before. Since being married, I now know that my biggest fear is losing Ryan. He is the center of my universe and keeps my on solid ground. Without him I would be lost and I honestly don't know if I could recover. Knowing this, I watched Grandma Lorsch holding her dear husband and saying goodbye for the last time on this earth. His breathing stopped and we sat watching and waiting. Another breath. Everyone is holding someone's hand, or hugging their loved one. It is completely silent as we watch. Suddenly a warm feeling floods my body and the world is perfectly quiet and perfectly peaceful. I look at Grandpa and know that he is gone. I also had a clear impression that he was not alone. I believe there were angels or maybe his mother coming to pick him up and take him to heaven.

Such a contrast in experiences, and such a contrast in emotion. I watched the entired spectrum of life in a few months and realized how short our time is here. I realized that the reason we ask "Where am I going after I die?" is because it is the biggest part of our life. Life is short, and the life after in heaven is an eternity. I won't bring my favorite books or clothes with me when I go, but just my knowledge of my experience on earth. I am so thankful that I am sealed to Ryan, so that when one of us dies, our married will be bound and will continue on even after our life on earth. I know that God has the power to seal families together forever, and he gave that power to man to use and bless our lives.

I am here on earth to be tested. I know that God and Jesus Christ live, but have I told anyone? Do I live His commandments? The things here on earth are very superficial, and we get to choose our priorities. I pray that when I go, I go in peace, knowing I have done all I could to be more like my Savior, Jesus Christ.

I love you all. If you have any questions about my beliefs, please ask.

Til we meet again.

I love Blogger

2009-01-11T21:49:00.001-08:00

Reading people's blogs could quite possibly be one of my favorite past-times. Memoirs have always been my favorite read, so it makes sense. I just wish y'all posted every day or something.

I have a few things to tell you. First is about bookmooch. The site is on my right-hand "Good Stuff" column and is for all of you people who love to read (Matt Wright comes to mind). Basically it is the best thing ever invented. You create your own account (easy, no money, and no junk mail) and post all of the books that you own that you wouldn't mind getting rid of. For each book you put on, you get a portion of a point. Then someone else searches for that book, finds that you have it, "mooch" it, and I send it to them. By doing this, I get a point which I use to mooch a book for myself. So its an equal exchanging of books. Does that make sense? For example, I posted my book "Northern Light" and found that 13 people had that book on their wishlist and are waiting for someone to have it. I got an email in about 30 minutes from a lady named Lynda in CA who wants the book. I agree to send it to her, I get a point of my own, and will send the book of tomorrow. Now I can go search the site for a book that I find of interest and mooch it for a point. Isn't that great??? It is my new hobby and I can't wait to read the 400+ books I have right now so I can get even more!!!! It's true, over 400 books....it's an illness.

Second, my sisters are extremely talented. They are both very crafty and great mothers. Alisa can make amazing angel food cake and cheesecake and Melanie is so good at finding crafty things to do/make for a very low price. I love having older sisters so I can just say, "Yo. This birth control ain't fly. What should I do?" And they can use their expertise to guide me. A blessing indeed.

Third, I married the perfect man for me. What a relief. I realize the reason I don't notice quirks and annoying habits from Ryan is because we have most of them in common! It has brought us much closer together as we form goals to hang our towels after we use them, and pick up our clothes. He's also really serving, so I know he will do anything for me. For example, we went running yesterday and my legs were super sore this morning. So I asked Ryan to rub my legs and he did! It feels amazing. I love that I have someone to scratch my back, give me massages, play with my hair, instead of asking one of my friends to do it or something. Anyway, because he is so loving and serving to me, I feel like serving him in return. It is a great cycle and I hope we do it forever and ever. You should try it.

Fourth, we have a new primary class and I am having trouble adjusting. I got to know our old kids pretty well and knew their personalities so well. I miss them like crazy. Especially Sebastian. He's this handsome little hispanic boy who will be a stud when he's older and has a great heart. I secretly want to adopt him and accidentally found myself thinking of ways that it could actually happen (I.e. his parents get in a plane accident, he is abandoned, etc) which is plumb AWFUL of me, but I didn't think it on purpose. I know things will get better though, it's just a little sad.

All In A Day's Work

2009-01-08T09:21:00.000-08:00

Here is a little experience that I just had at work that I wanted to share with you.

*ring ring*

State Farm, this is Katie, how can I help you?

Hello

Hello, Katie speaking, how can I help you?

I filed a claim against one of your insured's over a year ago and I haven't heard a thing about it.

A year ago?

Yes, over a year ago and I haven't heard one darn thing.

*why is she waiting a year to contact us...?* Okay...do you have a claim number?

No.

Hmm, was this person insured with our office?

No.

Do you know the name of the person who hit you?

No.

*blank stare* Can you hold one moment please?

*BIG sigh....* Sure.

I explain the situation to a coworker who laughs whole-heartedly and then tells me to give her the number to the Regional Office.

Ma'am?

Yes?

Let me give you the number to our Regional Office, they should be able to help you.

*huge sigh....* I'm waiting.

Oh, sorry! It's (XXX) XXX-XXXX. It's just that our office has no way *click* -

And that was the end of it folks. I have no idea what drug that lady was on, but she is insane. Who waits over a year to hear anything about a claim they made, and then not keep any information about it? She didn't even call the right Agent's office! I'm baffled.

So, you know...

2009-01-07T12:04:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but during the day I'll have fun and interesting experiences that I want to share on my blog/journal. Sadly, I forget about them and then I don't have anything to write about. It's a frustrating process.

I can tell you, do NOT watch The Dutchess with Kiera Knightley. Oh man, I was inconsolable after the movie. I just have a hard time watching people go through really hard experiences, especially when it seems so unjust. It makes me cry, I just get so sad. I need to learn how to keep a barrier between my reality and movies, but I automatically internalize everything. Anyway, it's a sad and depressing movie.

Every once in awhile I have a panic attack about school this semester. I start in about two weeks and bite my fingernails in anticipation. For financial aid purposes, I need to take my last two classes at MCC this semester...AND four upper-division classes at ASU at the same time. And work 20 hours a week. So, 18 credit hours of school and 20 hours of work is just a little bit stressful. My biggest fear is that I won't be able to handle the load. I've had some rough experiences in the past when I have tried to take on more then I am able, which has left me shaking in my boots. I can't tell you how much of a confidence booster it would be if I made it through this semester alive. And I want all A's, which I think is really possible since I'm taking all English classes which is my favorite. I'm thinking "scholarship" so that I don't graduate with a ton of student loans. We shall see. Oh, so if I disappear between the middle of January until May, don't be giving me any attitude about being busy and never hanging out or never posting on my blog. I need support, people!

Christmas was a great and relaxing holiday for Ryan and I. We had our own little Christmas in our apartment before we headed over to my house. I'll tell ya, when it's 65 degrees in the house you find yourself opening presents pretty darn fast. That is the real reason we visit our parents, because they heat their homes and we don't :) Ryan got me the "Open Heart" collection that has been advertised on TV with Jane Seymour. I never watch TV and didn't know a thing about it. Ryan explained the his meaning behind the gift before I opened it, and it was very romantic. I really just wanted a piece of jewelry from him that I could wear all the time and think of him. It was perfect. Oh, and Ryan suprised me with a HUGE stocking from the Dollar Store. It was hanging from the planter hanger thing on our ceiling, which was fun. We were only allowed to buy Dollar Store stocking stuffers, so Ryan got creative. He bought a pair of lime green dress-up heels and put a sticky note on it saying "Every girl deserves a pair of lime green heels." And then those white masks that you would wear if you were in construction or something with the note, "This is for when I toot." Just stuff like that, you know? It was cute.

My parents got us a big mirror to help us make our apartment more homey. They were get at getting us the stuff that we really needed, especially Ryan. We're a big fan of practical gifts. We spent the day at my house eating cinnamon rolls and hanging out. Then we went to the Barnes Christmas dinner which was always fun. Billy was there which was a great surprise, and I got to hang with David and Angela a little bit. The next day Ryan's family came back into town so we went over that night for another Christmas. We got a 6-man tent which we are very excited about because we like to go camping, along with some lanters. Then I got a set of real pearls because my mother-in-law loves me and knows that I do love pearls dearly. Ryan got those digital picture frames that rotate 60 or so pictures that he has at work. He had been wanting one for awhile, so I am glad his parents were able to step in where I was not. So they got us some fun gifts and we got them some fun gifts, so it was a party all around.

Hannah came home from Westridge Academy which we were very excited about. I hadn't seen her since we had gotten married, really, so I am loving having another sister. It's weird being the "older" sister for the first time ever and I don't think I am really good at it. She is hilarious, outgoing, beautiful, and curious. She has such an amazing potential to be someone great. I hope we are always close so I can watch it happen.

I love the spirit of Christmas and am sad that it is over. I really believe that there is some sort of magic in the air during that time of year. I have a visiting teacher named Tina McCarey whom I love though I really don't know her. When we were visiting a sister she shared a story that I wanted to share with you. Tina owns two different dance studios and has a "Christmas Spectacular" program each year. In this program she has the final act be the nativity as it is the reason for Christmas. She has people asking her to change the name of her program to the "Holiday Spectacular" but has politely declined stating that this was a Christmas program. She has lost clients because she refuses to take the nativity out of the program. One such couple came into the studio once they found out that the nativity was to be in the program. They were outraged, extremely offended, and demanded the nativity be removed. Tina was about to apologize but felt a warm feeling flood through her body and she knew that she did not need to apologize. She explained that she is Christian and that Christmas is all about Christ so she was leaving Him in. They left very uspset, but she knew that she had made the right decision. After the perfomance this Christmas season, a woman came up to Tina and said, "You have a lot of nerve." She got nervous and asked the lady what she had meant. "I can't believe you had the guts to perform the nativity in your program. Thank you. Christmas has finally started for me." And with that, she walked away.

I felt the Spirit of Christ as Tina shared this story and I know that Christmas is really about the celebration of Christ. It is okay if people celebrate Christmas for other reasons, and we have no need to be offended about other beliefs. But the same applies for Christian beliefs, and that we should be able to celebrate our Christmas without other people demanding we remove what is very dear to our hearts. I believe the only way this situation can get better is through love and service. Let us share the message of hope, not only during Christmas, but all year.

Settlers of Catan

2008-12-24T13:45:00.001-08:00

I do love this game. Ryan and I are addicted, but are only able to play it once a week or so. There are a few reasons I love this clever and strategic game. One, because the Germans made it. I do love it when the Germans make something clever. Truly, there is nothing more exciting than a foreign game. Did you know it was actually made in 1994? Which is crazy because I don't remember seeing it until about ten years later. Two, the game is different every time. Which is why you keep on wanting to play it again. Once you think you have a strategy down, something happens that knocks you off your feet and you have to rethink everything. Three, there is something strangely fulfilling about building your own settlements and cities. It makes me feel so accomplished. Four, it gives us a reason to be social, which is sometimes hard to do when you are newly married. We officially disappeared for a month after our wedding and are working on making appearances at social events.

Then we bought Ryan's Mom the expansion pack called "Cities and Knights" and are completely smitten. I know the boxes don't look like the most exciting thing ever, but really, this game won't let you down. Just give yourself some time to actually learn the rules, and then you'll dream that you actually live in a place called Catan and own sheep and ore. It's great!

When we play, Ryan usually wins and is all boastful about it, so I get testy because I get tired of him winning. But we're working around these obstacles, and so far it's been grand.

Christmas Eve

2008-12-24T13:29:00.000-08:00

Actually, it's Christmas Eve Day...and I'm at work. The phone has probably rang three times and were wrong phone numbers, so I'm starting to wonder why I'm here. At least I am able to just sit and anticipate the Christmas Festivities I am about to partake in. I made a huge list of all the things Ryan and I are going to do with this weekend of freedom and bliss. I keep on reminding myself that I wouldn't be able to do whatever I want whenever I want once I have babies. I do dearly enjoy freedom...and sleep.

My List

1. Finish gingerbread house

2. Hang the clock (We bought a huge clock for his parents who are out of town, and are going to hang it for them with a huge bow before they get home)

3. Make salad - we are making salad for 20 tonight. *hyperventilate* Thankfully my husband is an excellent cook.

4. Watch movie. It's overdue by almost a week but I WON'T return it until I watch it darn IT!

5. Make posters for Hannah. She is coming home from West Ridge Academy in Utah so we are welcoming her with some posters.

6. Get cookie basket ready. Remember my sugar cookie post? I bought a dozen of these tasty mouth-watering cookies and am giving them to my family for Christmas.

7. Get parent gift ready. Ryan and I bought some things to put in my mother's alcove that is in desperate need of something. I hope this works, if not she has some money to look around at Hobby Lobby.

So that's what I've got so far. Every once in awhile I have mini panic attacks because I realized this is my first Christmas with Ryan and feel like we should be making a ton of Holiday traditions so our kiddos with think we're a fun family. Then I figure things like that take time, so I calm down. I do want to hear about your holiday traditions so I can begin my list. Oh how I love Christmas!

Towards the beginning of this month I had a few mishaps that got me all grumpy and scrooge-like. I had made some beautiful pictures of Christ for Ryan and my parents and had poured some glaze over the finished product to give it a glassy and smooth finish as well as make the colors more vibrant. After drying for three weeks, Ryan placed them in a different area with them standnig up. Two days later when I came upon them, I found all the glaze had oozed towards the bottom and onto the picture frame, completely ruining my truly beautiful homemade pieces of art. I threw them in the trash and sobbed, then sulked. I couldn't stop thinking about all of the time and effort I had put into them, and now they would never be appreciated. I especially wanted my families to know that I really loved them and wanted to give them something I thought they would love. Eventually, with Ryan's help, I was able to get over it. It is the thought that counts, and really, is that what Christmas is all about anyway?

Then Ryan and I had ordered a bunch of postcards to send out "Thank you and Merry Christmas" cards for wedding thank-you's and Christmas cards. Perfect, right? Well, our two-day shipping turned into week-long shipping and I had to cancel the order because I don't want to send out Christmas cards a week after Christmas. So that was a huge bummer. Nothing quite hangs over your head like thank-you cards. When Ryan and I got back from the honeymoon we started school the next day and have been going non-stop since then, so thank-you cards haven't always been top priority. I vow to finish these darn things before school starts in January. So, I was bummed about that too. No biggie though.

What is up

2008-12-21T23:34:00.000-08:00

So, I am officially enrolled at ASU and only have three more semester left! I can hardly believe it. The best thing is that all the classes I have to take until I graduate are the classes I love! Oh come to me, my well-read pieces of literature. Let us get to know each other better!

I had a reality check when it came to tuition. I have two classes at MCC and paid my $441 for them last week. Then I signed up for two classes at ASU and found my running total to be $2,400.00. Are you kidding me? For TWO classes? So I signed up for four classes instead which raised my tuition to $2,831.00. I just can't rationalize not being full-time and pay $1200 for each class. How do they sleep at night?

I'm not sure how I am going to arrange having one online class and four on-campus classes, along with my job. Oh dear goodness, it is just overwhelming. Especially because I need to do really well at ASU because I want to be a TA and get my Masters with tuition paid for along with some extra cash! So, this is about priorities and being realistic. I'll let you know what happens, after a long talk with the boss I'm sure.

My favorite outfit is my soft and worn Dr. Pepper t-shirt with my black sweatpants. I just had to share, because I am happiest when I am in it. Which I am...right now. Mmm. It might have something to do with the fact that our apartment is 65 degrees right now. You see, we don't use the heater at all so we can save any extra bucks we can. For example, our utility bill last month was $27.00. Can you believe it? This is why I can handle cold toes and always dressing like I am outside. I keep on repeating to myself, "Extra money to save for a house."

There is something about being married that makes you want to nest. I find myself looking at houses everywhere thinking of the potential elementary schools my children will attend, and how I will walk them to school and maybe even skip if we are feeling lively. I know all of this is a long way off, but I long to be in a permanent location where I will be free to invision where we will have family prayer and make yummy cookies. I know, I'm an idealist. But it doesn't hurt to dream!

I wish you all a Merry Christmas.

After a hard day's work

2008-12-21T23:31:00.000-08:00

Three cheers for kisses when you get home from work. And a great vacuum cleaner.

Heavenly Hansen's Homemade

2008-12-17T10:24:00.000-08:00

Working at a State Farm agent's office, we see a lot of glass reps come in with treats for the Christmas season, trying to bribe us so that we will refer our clients to their business. This year we had someone come in with a basket full of goodies with a tag tied at the top that said, "Hansen'a Homemade". I eyed the bag for sometime before I took the intitiative to open up the celophane wrapping and explore the contents of sugar. I saw multiple bags of sugar cookies and made that my first taste test. I opened up the clear baggie and took out the green frosted christmas tree sugar cookie. My first bite almost sent me into a coma, I'm not kidding. The first thing I noticed was how incredibly soft the cookie was. The thing almost disintegrated on my tongue for how soft it was. I didn't even have to bite, just purse my lips around the darn thing and let if fall into my mouth so I could just...experience it. Oh heaven! Then the cookies itself. Some sugar cookies are waaaay to sweet. This cookie was perfect, a subtle buttery taste with a smooth and even texture. Then the frosting. No buttercream frosting I have ever tasted has been so sublime! I am partial about my frosting, some are too thick, others too thin, some too sweet, some taste exactly like powdered sugar. This frosting was so perfect. Not overly sweet and still as smooth as the day Mama made it. I just cannot get over this darn cookie.

So, I called up the number to talk to "Tanya", the name on the tag and get some cookies right here and right now. I found out that Tanya has no website and no official business. She just works through word of mouth and mostly does the sugar cookies, though the basket I delved into had toffee, homemade caramels, brownie cupcakes, and fudge. All of her food is made from scratch with all of the ingredients listed. I ordered a dozen cookies from her and told her I just had an amazing experience that made all my previous experiences with cookies in life seem dull and faded.

When I go to pick up these cookies I will throw myself to the ground in front of her and beg to be her apprentice. "Oh please let me be a part of...of...THIS!" I'll plea. Maybe she'll sell the recipe to me if I sign off that I won't use it for commercial purposes. Oh dear goodness, these cookies are good.

If you know what's good for you, you'll want to taste these cookies.

Hansen's Homemade - 480 694-0905 (Tanya)